“Likewise, teach the older women to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slanderers or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good. Then they can train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.” NIV
I have read this passage several times and think “I am a responsible older woman.” But on closer reflection, there’s much to learn.
What does it mean to be “reverent” or “reverent in behavior” NKJV NRSV in the way I live?
Synonyms are respectful, devout, dutiful, humble and obedient. Antonyms can be just as revealing – impolite, rude Thesaurus.com. Examples of women with these qualities from the Old Testament are Ruth and Esther (no wonder they have books named after them). New Testament examples are Mary and Elizabeth (Luke 1).
The reverent older woman is obedient to God, kind, pleasant, quiet, humble, submissive, thankful, joyful, compassionate, helpful, appreciative, strong, responsible, resourceful. The “woman of noble character” in Proverbs 31:10-31 is a wonderful example – “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” Proverbs 31:29
Older women are “not to be slanderers”.
Older women usually have more time to be busybodies (the younger woman is busy with her family):
“We hear that some among you are idle and disruptive. They are not busy; they are busybodies.” 2 Thessalonians 3:11
Although Paul is talking about those who refuse to work, his statement can be applied to anyone who doesn’t make good use of their time but finds the time to be a slanderer.
Gossiping begins in the heart with hypocritical judging:
“You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge another, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.” Romans 2:1
Older women can judge and gossip or slander, but they can also realize that nothing good is in them and become understanding and compassionate. They can spend extra time praying instead of gossiping. What would we like others to do for us when they see a fault? Pray for us:
“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.” Philippians 2:3-4
They can spend their time on the forefront fighting spiritual battles. Being a reverent servant leader of women (and in some cases men) like Deborah (Judges 4-5) is an example strongly needed.
Older women are not to be “addicted to much wine”. They should guard against being addicted to anything – food, lust, gambling or fashion (which can be pride or self-exaltation):
“I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.” 1 Timothy 2:8-10
Anything can be wrong if it becomes more important than Jesus.
Older woman should be able “to teach what is good”. How can they teach what is good unless they understand what is good and are living it themselves? The qualities that the younger woman should have are qualities that are should be evident in the older woman – “Then they can train the younger women”.
Paul says that older women are to teach what is good. Notice the parallel to his charge to Titus in verse 1. Teaching “what is good” would naturally mean teaching what accords with sound doctrine.” Ourspoken Tulip headstickdeb.com
Older woman have more experience than younger women and are usually wiser. However, exact ages are not given. Godly woman acquire wisdom much sooner than other women.
Older woman need to train younger women “to love their husbands and children”.
The Apostle Paul defines love:
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Proverbs 31 gives the practical aspects of loving your husband and children:
“A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life. She selects wool and flax and works with eager hands. She is like the merchant ships, bringing her food from afar. She gets up while it is still night; she provides food for her family and portions for her female servants. She considers a field and buys it; out of her earnings she plants a vineyard. She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks. She sees that her trading is profitable, and her lamp does not go out at night. In her hand she holds the distaff and grasps the spindle with her fingers. She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy. When it snows, she has no fear for her household; for all of them are clothed in scarlet. She makes coverings for her bed; she is clothed in fine linen and purple.” Proverbs 13:10-22 She is trustworthy, industrious, wise, ambitious (not lazy), resourceful, caring and confident.
The book of Ruth gives an understanding of a Hebrew word for love: hesed (kh-sed) or “loving-kindness”.
Examples of hesed: “This list is adapted from the introduction to Ruth in the JPS Commentary by Tikva Frymer-Kensky and Tamara Cohn Eskanazi:
• Ruth refuses to abandon the widow, Naomi.
• Boaz goes beyond obligation to show kindness to Ruth and Naomi.
• Naomi seeks a way to help Ruth.
• Ruth offers herself to Boaz and encourages him to become her redeemer.
• Boaz extends his care to Ruth and Naomi.
• Boaz goes even beyond all this and marries Ruth.
• The community acts with hesed in affirming this marriage.
• Hesed heals Moabite-Israelite relations in one small circle of people.
• Hesed is a light in the dark days of the Judges in one place in Israel.
• A chain of hesed leads to the birth of David and, ultimately, Messiah. .” Derek Leman
Ruth is the perfect example of “a woman of noble character” – she was directed by God in big and small ways.
Older women should teach younger women to love their husbands and children with hesed or “loving-kindness”.
“Jesus replied, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments. ’”, Matthew 22:38-40, 19:18-19 Mark 12:31-33 Luke 10:27
Husband and children are a wife and mother’s closet neighbor.
A wife needs an understanding of what marriage involves because sometimes it is not easy to feel love for your husband, and because Satan works to break up marriages and cause permanent harm to children.
God gives mothers an innate love for their children but that feeling needs to be accompanied by wisdom and an understanding of what unconditional love is. Treat your children as the Lord treats you, with loving-kindness:
Sometimes loving discipline is necessary:
“Discipline your children, for in that there is hope; do not be a willing party to their death.” Proverbs 19:18
The Lord disciplines those He loves:
“because the Lord disciplines those he loves, as a father the son he delights in.” Proverbs 3:12
The wise mother disciplines and teaches her children with kindness:
“The wise in heart are called discerning, and gracious words promote instruction.” Proverbs 16:21
Older women should teach younger women “to be self-controlled and pure”:
Self-control is one of the fruits of the Spirit. The fruit of the Spirit “…sums up nine attributes of a person or community living in accord with the Holy Spirit…” Wikipedia
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control…” Galatians 5:22-23
The fruit of the Spirit is the results of Jesus being those who believe. Jesus is God, He is perfect and. He is in us.
Jesus/God works in us “to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose”:
“…continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.” Philippians 2:12-13
Paul tells the Church a great mystery – that Jesus will be in them:
“… the mystery that has been kept hidden for ages and generations, but is now disclosed to the Lord’s people. To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.” Colossians 1:27
Self-control is controlling ourselves by obeying what we know to be God’s will. It is God who accomplishes this, but at times He uses older women to teach younger women.
Self-control is closely related to purity. Impurity involves lack of self-control. Primarily pure in this case is free from sin, especially from sexual experience or thoughts. Older women, not men, even pastors unless accompanied by their wives, should not be take it upon themselves to be involved in this way with younger women.
Older woman should teach younger women “to be busy at home”:
This doesn’t mean that women need to only stay at home. The Bible has many examples of women who didn’t –
Miriam, Deborah, Esther, Priscilla, Lydia, but if a woman has a husband and/or children she should follow the example of the woman of noble character in Proverbs 31:
“She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.” Proverbs 31:27
A woman’s first responsibility is her home.
Older women should teach younger women to be kind. Kindness is a fruit of the Spirit. Men and women are admonished to be kind. The woman of noble character also has this characteristic:
“She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy.” Proverbs 31:20
Older women can best teach kindness by being kind – showing example of hesed – loving-kindness.
Older woman should teach younger women “to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.”
Being subject to your husband means “no one will malign the word of God.” Malign means evil in nature, injurious, harmful. People will say something evil, injurious or harmful about the word of God because of a wife not being subject to her husband. Offensive to everyone (except perhaps the rebellious feminist) is an abrasive, bossy wife. If she is a Christian, she is certainly being a bad example that will turn people away from Jesus and His word.
Several passages in the Bible make it clear that wives are to submissive to their husbands (1 Corinthians 11:1-16 Ephesians 5:21-33 1 Timothy 2:8-15 1 Peter 3:1-6).
Submission does not mean that the wife doesn’t do some tasks or that she always does others. For example, sometimes a wife might handle the finances. Sometimes the husband might do the cooking or look after the children. Submission means that the husband has the final authority, the final responsibility. Some husbands will not take that authority or responsibility which makes it difficult for the wife, but with God’s help, she can be the submissive wife He wants her to be.
Being subject to your husband should bring the result given the noble woman in Proverbs 31:
“Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. She brings him good, not harm, all the days of her life.” Proverbs 31:11-12
“Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” Proverbs 31:28-29
The older women have a great responsibility in teaching the younger women, but it can also be a great joy:
“A person finds joy in giving an apt reply— and how good is a timely word!” Proverbs 15:23