* THE IMPORTANCE OF REPENTANCE
* WHAT IS REPENTANCE
* THE EXAMPLE OF JACOB
* RECONCILIATION
* RESTORATION, RESTITUTION OR REQUIRED ACTION
* CONFRONTATION
* FORGIVENESS
* ACCOUNTABILITY
* CONCLUSION
* QUESTIONS
* THE IMPORTANCE OF REPENTANCE
Repentance is a major emphasis throughout the Bible. It is mandatory for salvation.
Repentance is necessary for sin to be taken away. In the Old Testament sin was atoned for by continually offering blood sacrifices to God. After Jesus died on the cross it is no longer necessary to make sacrifices. His blood paid the penalty of our sins once and for all:
“…we have been made holy through the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ once for all.” Hebrews 10:10, 12 Jesus paid the penalty for our sin. Repentance is to “fear him”:
“For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us.” Psalm 103:11-12
John the Baptist preached almost exclusively repentance as the way to getting ready for the coming of Jesus (Matthew 3:1-2 Mark 1:4 Luke 1:16-17, 3:1-20 Acts 13:24 19:4). Jesus reaffirmed what John preached:
“Repent for the kingdom of God has come near.” Matthew 4:17 Mark 1:15
“…But unless you repent, you too will all perish.” Luke 13:5
“for John came to you to show you the way of righteousness, and you did not believe him, but the tax collectors and the prostitutes did. And even after you saw this, you did not repent and believe him.” Luke 21:31-32
WHAT IS REPENTANCE?
The World Book Dictionary defines “repent”: “to feel sorry for having done wrong and seek forgiveness” which is not exactly the biblical definition of repentance. Vine’s Expository Dictionary (which defines biblical words) explains that repentance comes from the words meta, after, implying change, noeo, to perceive and nous, the mind, the seat of moral reflection. It “signifies to change one’s mind or purpose, always in the New Testament involving a change for the better.”
“What kind of repentance saves? Not a sorrow for sins or even a sorrow that results in cleaning up one’s life. People who reform have repented; that is, they have changed their minds about their past lives, but that kind of repentance, albeit genuine, does not of itself save them. The only kind of repentance that saves is a change of mind about Jesus Christ. People can weep; people can resolve to turn from their past sins; but those things in themselves cannot save. The only kind of repentance that saves anyone, anywhere, anytime is a change of mind about Jesus Christ. The sense of sin and sorrow because of sin may stir up a person’s mind or conscience so that he or she realizes the need for a Savior, but if there is no change of mind about Jesus Christ, there will be no salvation” (Charles Ryrie, So Great Salvation, pp. 94-95).
Repentance means to change one’s mind about who Jesus is. Repentance is believing in Jesus (See John 1:50 4:48 6:29, 64 9:35 10:25 12:36-37,44 14:1 16:31 17:20 20:31 Acts 15:11 16:31 19:4 Romans 3:22 4:24 10:9 Galatians 3:22 1 Thessalonians 4:14 1 Timothy 1:16 1 John 3:23) or putting faith in Jesus or, during Old Testament time, having faith in the One True God (of which Jesus is the Son):
“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for.” Hebrew 11:1-2
“And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.” Hebrews 11:6
Jesus regarded this change as being so significant that it was like being “born again”:
“I tell you the truth, unless a man is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God…unless a man is born of water and the Spirit, he cannot enter the kingdom of God…” John 3:3, 5 A man must come to know God and have a renewed mind:
“That if you confess with your mouth, ‘Jesus is Lord,’ and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” Romans 10:9 If he has a renewed mind (“believe in your heart”) he will tell others (“confess with your mouth”) and will come to know God as his Father (“will be saved”).
The Apostle Paul considered the person who had come to know Jesus as a “new creation”:
‘Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!” 2 Corinthians 5:17
However, if we define sin as disobeying God, repentance implies sorrow for sin and turning away from sin. Some people, especially children, do not understand sin when they come to believe in Jesus. Yet when there is repentance, it will be evident. They will begin to love Jesus and worship and praise Him and, with guidance, understand good and evil from His perspective.
Jesus loves us so much He accepts us just as we are:
“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8
Yet He loves us so much He will not leave us in our sins:
“…continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.” Philippians 2:12-13
Being sorry for our sins often “brings repentance that leads to salvation”. The Apostle Paul said:
“Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation…” 2 Corinthians 7:10 Being sorry for sin can lead us to a faith in Jesus, or, if we already have faith in Jesus, it can lead to changing to become like Him:
“For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son…” Romans 8:29
King Solomon defines repentance when he asked God to forgive His people:
“…if they have a change of heart in the land where they are held captive, and repent and plead with you in the land of their conquerors and say, `We have sinned, we have done wrong, we have acted wickedly’; and if they turn back to you with all their heart and soul…” 1 Kings 8:47-48 2 Chronicles 6:37-38 They would be accepted if they changed their minds to repent by acknowledging their sin and pleading for forgiveness and turning back to God “with all their heart and soul”.
A connection between having faith in Jesus and an acknowledgement of sins is also shown by John the Baptist:
“And so John the Baptist appeared in the wilderness, preaching a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins.” Mark 1:4
“He went into all the country around the Jordan, preaching a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins.” Luke 3:3
“Paul said, “John’s baptism was a baptism of repentance. He told the people to believe in the one coming after him, that is, in Jesus.” Acts 19:4
A clear, simple example of repentance and salvation is the thief on the cross:
“One of the criminals who hung there hurled insults at him: “Aren’t you the Messiah? Save yourself and us!”
But the other criminal rebuked him. “Don’t you fear God,” he said, “since you are under the same sentence? We are punished justly, for we are getting what our deeds deserve. But this man has done nothing wrong.”
Then he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.”
Jesus answered him, “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise.”” Luke 23:39-43
The robber (Matthew 27:38) recognized that he had offended God: “Don’t you fear God”.
He recognized his sin: “we are getting what our deeds deserve”.
He recognized that he was being punished justly: “We are punished justly”.
He realized that Jesus had done nothing wrong: “this man has done nothing wrong”.
He realized that Jesus could save him (believed in Him) and acted to ask forgiveness: “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom”.
Jesus, who sees the heart, forgave him: “Truly I tell you, today you will be with me in paradise”.
Repentance resulting in salvation is a chance of direction. Instead of going towards hell, one turns and goes toward heaven. Instead of going toward evil, one goes toward good. Instead of going toward foolishness, one goes toward wisdom. Instead of going toward the devil’s way, one goes toward God’s way.
The thief only had time to believe in Jesus and acknowledge his sin. Otherwise he had no time to show a change in his actions, but he had changed direction and so would have changed his actions if he had lived.
When we change our mind we will change our actions:
“You believe that there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that—and shudder. You foolish person, do you want evidence that faith without deeds is useless? Was not our father Abraham considered righteous for what he did when he offered his son Isaac on the altar? You see that his faith and his actions were working together, and his faith was made complete by what he did. And the scripture was fulfilled that says, “Abraham believed God, and it was credited to him as righteousness,” and he was called God’s friend. You see that a person is considered righteous by what they do and not by faith alone.
In the same way, was not even Rahab the prostitute considered righteous for what she did when she gave lodging to the spies and sent them off in a different direction? As the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without deeds is dead.” James 2: 19-26 Demons definitely believe in Jesus, but there is no desire to forsake sin or follow Him or to worship and praise Him.
The Apostle Paul reveals the relationship between a change or heart and actions. Actions prove repentance:
“…I preached that they should repent and turn to God and prove their repentance by their deeds.” Acts 26:20
(However, if one changes his actions without changing his mind there will be no lasting change of any significance. There can be no salvation because there is no change of heart.)
John emphasized fruit (actions that come from repentance):
“Produce fruit in keeping with repentance. And do not begin to say to yourselves, `We have Abraham as our father.’ For I tell you that out of these stones God can raise up children for Abraham. The ax is already at the root of the trees, and every tree that does not produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire.” Luke 3:8 (See also Matthew 3:7-10)
Jesus (as John did) especially condemns the Pharisees and Sadducees— religious leaders who had a great deal of influence. They were hypocrites, and their lack of genuine fruit caused even those who would believe to turn away:
“Produce fruit in keeping with repentance.” Matthew 3:8
“…You shut the kingdom of heaven in men’s faces. You yourselves do not enter, nor will you let those enter who are trying to.” Matthew 23:13
Jesus speaks a great deal about the importance of bearing fruit:
“Make a tree good and its fruit will be good, or make a tree bad and its fruit will be bad, for a tree is recognized by its fruit. You brood of vipers, how can you who are evil say anything good? For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks. The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in him, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in him.” Matthew 12:33-35 (See also Matthew 7:16-20, 21:43-44 Luke 6:43-45, Luke 13:6-10)
One of Jesus’ most profound passages concerns our fruit–actions, the result of our belief in Him:
“He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.
I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. If anyone does not remain in me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be given you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples…I chose you and appointed you to go and bear fruit—fruit that will last. Then the Father will give you whatever you ask in my name.” John 15:2-8, 16
Paul explains exactly what our actions as believers in Jesus should be:
“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires.” Galatians 5:22-24 Our nature is changed, which produces a change in actions—we have been given the Holy Spirit:
“…Having believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit.” Ephesians 1:13
Paul prays we will be:
“filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ–to the glory and praise of God.” Philippians 1:11
Jesus is called “…The Lord Our Righteousness.” Jeremiah 23:6
We have His nature–by obeying Him we have the "fruit of righteousness.
Paul prays we will be:
“…bearing fruit in every good work…” Colossians 1:10-14
The author of Hebrews reveals that we can’t even offer praise to God unless we are His children:
“Through Jesus, therefore, let us continually offer to God a sacrifice of praise–the fruit of lips that confess his name.” Hebrews 13:15
James explains fruit:
“But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere. Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.” James 3:17-18
A change of mind is also important concerning specific sins. For instance, if you stop smoking, but still are always wishing you could smoke, you are apt to revert back to smoking. You must hate smoking:
“To fear the Lord is to hate evil…” Proverbs 8:13 Ask God to help you hate your sin.
Sometimes the only way to get rid of a sin is to experience the consequences. Thank goodness the Lord:
"disciplines those he loves." Proverbs 3:12 Hebrews 12:6
THE EXAMPLE OF SAMSON
Samson is an example of someone whom the Lord loved and had to discipline. Samson had been set apart to God from birth (Judges 13:5. 7, 25). The Spirit of the Lord had come upon him in power several times in his fight against the Philistines (Judges 14:6, 19; 15:14, 19).
However, Samson had a major failing. He liked Philistine women. The Lord had commanded the Israelites not to marry foreign women (Exodus 34:15-16 Deuteronomy 7:1-4 Judges 3:4-5). Samson did not seem to think the Lord meant what He said. He planned to marry a Philistine woman (Judges 14-15:8), visited a Philistine prostitute–probably one example of several instances (Judges 16:1-3)–and, finally, fell in love with Delilah (Judges 16:4-22).
The Philistine rulers went to Delilah and said they would pay eleven hundred shekels of silver, an extraordinary generous payment, if she could lure Samson into telling her the secret of his great strength. After several tries she succeeded. Because Samson had taken himself out from under the Lord’s protection he fell for what should have been obvious: "So he told her everything. ‘No razor has ever been used on my head,’ he said, because I have been a Nazirite, set apart to God since birth. If my head were shaved, my strength would leave me, and I would become as weak as any other man." Judges 16:17
Having put him to sleep on her lap, she called in a man to shave off the seven braids of his hair. When she called that the Philistines were upon him, he awoke from his sleep and thought that he would shake himself free as he had done before: "…But he did not know that the Lord had left him." Judges 16:20
"A man who remains stiff-necked after many rebukes will suddenly be destroyed without remedy." Proverbs 29:1 Samson was in this situation. God had to punish him severely. The Philistine rulers seized him, gouged out his eyes and took him to Gaza, a Philistine city where he had displayed great strength, to grind corn.
God planned his physical punishment as a spiritual blessing. Samson spent many hours alone grinding flour. God had Samson in a place where all he could do was think about why he had lost his strength and sight: “But the hair on his head began to grow…” Judges 16:22 His hair was the symbol of his relationship with God and the power of God. If he had not been a true child of God, he would have chosen to curse God, but instead, His relationship to God, like his hair, began to grow.
The Philistine rulers assembled to offer a great sacrifice to their god, Dagon, because he had delivered Samson into their hands. When they brought Samson out to "entertain" them, they stood him among the pillars that supported a temple crowded with men and women. Then Samson prayed to the Lord: "O Sovereign Lord, remember me. O God, please strengthen me just once more, and let me with one blow get revenge on the Philistines for my two eyes." Judges 16:28
Bracing himself against the two pillars and pushing with all his might, he said, "Let me die with the Philistines." Judges16:30 He came back into the anointing of God in such strength that: “…he killed many more when he died than while he lived.” Judges 16:30 Discipline brought Samson into a closer relationship with God than he had ever been. He brought more glory to God in his death than his life. Samson was brought to repentance because of suffering.
Jesus said: “Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent.” Revelation 3:19
Unlike Samson, we should avoid sin. And when we do sin, we need to confess:
“Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD.” And you forgave the guilt of my sin.” Psalm 32:5
Also, we must avoid the appearance of evil–anyone comfortable in the atmosphere of sin is suspect as to whether or not there has been true repentance. We can’t always tell for sure if someone is a Christian, but we should be able to discern more and more.
We should avoid situations that give an opportunity to sin unless specifically called by God to do otherwise–for instance, going into a bar unless called to hand out tracks. True repentance is shown by a change in actions.
A change of mind is evident when we stop the habit of sin. Sometimes a believer may occasionally fall into sin, but God is working in them to change. Paul said:
“being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” Philippians 1:6
We should:
“be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.” Ephesians 6:18 and, if there is an opportunity, restore such a person:
“My brothers, if one of you should wander from the truth, and someone should bring him back, remember this: Whoever turns a sinner away from his error will save him from death and cover over a multitude of sins.” James 5:19-20
King David realized immediately after Nathan rebuked him (2 Samuel 12) the enormity of his sin. He had committed adultery and murder (see 2 Samuel 11). He repented (changed his mind) to the depth of his soul. That is why God calls him a man after His own heart (Acts 13:22).
“Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight, so that you may be proved right when you speak and justified when you judge. Surely I have been a sinner from birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me. Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.” Psalm 51:4-6
“Against you, you only, have I sinned and done what is evil in your sight…” We need to realize how much sin hurts God, whether it is hurting our body, which He lovingly created to be the temple of His Holy Spirit, or is hurting other people whom He loved so much He died to pay the penalty for their sins. God is the Judge we will stand before someday–how much better to confess and forsake our sins now.
To realize the perfection of God’s laws, to see the absolute wisdom and fairness in His commands is a powerful motivator. No one can stand before God and accuse Him of being unfair: “…so that you may be proved right when you speak and justified when you judge…” In fact, His mercy and grace allow Him to be more than fair:
“He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.” Psalm 103:9-10
“Surely I have been a sinner from birth, sinful from the time my mother conceived me…” We were all born with a sinful nature (Romans 7). Only by giving God control of our lives can we hope to overcome: “the sin which so easily entangles…” Hebrews 12:1
“Surely you desire truth in the inner parts; you teach me wisdom in the inmost place.” God does not just want an outward change; He wants a change deep within. That is the only way there will be a lasting change. Obviously, David had changed deep in his soul. Perhaps he, in pride, had felt that, as king, he had a right to any woman in his kingdom. He did not have respect and love for his men or for women. He changed in many ways as we all do when faced with challenging times in our lives. Most of all, he now had a deep respect for God and His laws.
The Apostle Paul gives a complete explanation of the result of repentance:
"…Your sorrow led you to repentance. For you became sorrowful as God intended and so were not harmed in any way by us. Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. See what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what concern, what readiness to see justice done. At every point you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter. 2 Corinthians 7:9-11
This could be interpreted that a person who is truly repentant has an earnestness to acknowledge his guilt to God; an eagerness to rid himself of sin; indignation that he could have done such a thing; alarm, longing and concern for the consequences of his sin to God, others and himself; and a readiness to see justice done—to do what he can to right the wrong. Like King David, they agree with God on the enormity of their sin. They desire to do something about it by seeking God and His solution.
Remorse is repentance without Jesus. Judas Iscariot was so sorry he had betrayed Jesus that he hung himself. He was remorseful, but he didn’t ask Jesus for forgiveness. Genuine repentance is the process (usually a process) of cleansing and inner transformation—becoming holy:
“for as it is written: ‘Be holy, because I am holy.’” Leviticus 11:44, 45; 19:2, 20:7 1 Peter 1:16 It is much more than feelings of guilt or just being sorry for our transgressions as important as that is.
James gives another good definition of repentance:
"Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded. Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up." James 4:7-10
When a person humbles himself, God will forgive. God even forgave the wicked king, Ahab, when he humbled himself, though it was not a lasting repentance. The Lord told Elijah:
“Have you noticed how Ahab has humbled himself before me? Because he has humbled himself, I will not bring this disaster in his day, but I will bring it on his house in the days of his son.” 1 Kings 21:29
God forgave the horrible sins of Manasseh, king of Judah, when he humbled himself:
“In his distress he sought the favor of the Lord his God and humbled himself greatly before the God of his fathers. And when he prayed to him, the Lord was moved by his entreaty and listened to his plea; so that he brought him back to Jerusalem and to his kingdom. Then Manasseh knew that the Lord is God…He got rid of the foreign gods and removed the image from the temple of the LORD, as well as all the altars he had built on the temple hill and in Jerusalem; and he threw them out of the city. Then he restored the altar of the LORD and sacrificed fellowship offerings and thank offerings on it, and told Judah to serve the LORD, the God of Israel.” 2 Chronicles 33:12-13, 15-16
This was a lasting repentance–Manasseh had changed.
THE EXAMPLE OF JACOB
God took many years to work out the repentance of Jacob, although his actual repentance took place in a short time. Jacob came from a rich heritage. Isaac, Jacob’s father, had submitted when his father Abraham was going to sacrifice him as a burnt offering. God showed Abraham a ram caught in the thicket to sacrifice instead, but Abraham and Isaac had passed the test and proved their faith in God (Genesis 22:1-19). Rebekah, Jacob’s mother, had left her homeland to marry a man she had never seen because she knew it was God who had arranged her marriage (Genesis 24) She was a woman of kindness and courage.
However, their marriage had deteriorated. Isaac did not have discernment and favored his older son, Esau (Genesis 25:28), who cared nothing for God. Rebekah, who was told that the older would serve the younger before her sons were born (Genesis 25:21-26), used deception in order to have Jacob get the blessing which should have gone to the firstborn (Genesis 27). Jacob (whose name meant “deceives”) had already manipulated Esau out of his birthright (Genesis 25:29-34), although Esau HAD sold his birthright to Jacob showing how unimportant it was to him.
Now Jacob had to escape Esau’s planned revenge (Genesis 27:41-28:5). He had to flee to his uncle Laban, his mother’s brother. Rebekah, for her part in the deception, pronounced a curse on herself and died without seeing Jacob again. On his way there, God appeared to him and reaffirmed the covenant He had made with Abraham and Isaac (Genesis 28:10-22).
Laban deceived Jacob into taking his older daughter, Leah, as a wife along with his younger daughter, Rachel, whom Jacob loved (Genesis 29:14-30). Now Jacob learned how it felt to be a victim of deception. This deception caused years of unhappy struggling between the two sisters (Genesis 29:30-30:24) compounded by Jacob’s favoring Rachel and her children, a sin from which he seemed never to have repented.
This time was also fraught with the struggle between Laban and Jacob over the wages Laban was to give Jacob who was caring for his sheep (Genesis 30:25-43). Here again Jacob resorted to superstition and deception in order to get his way. However, God blessed Jacob because of His covenant and perhaps because of Laban’s greater wickedness. Jacob acknowledged that blessing (Genesis 31:42).
God told Jacob to return to his native land. Leah and Rachel confirmed his choice, and Jacob left without telling Laban (Genesis 31:1-21). Laban pursued Jacob. However, God intervened and they made a treaty and each went on his way (Genesis 31:22-55).
Now Jacob had to face his brother Esau whom he learned was coming with 400 men. He sent his family and peace offerings on ahead and spent the night in prayer. He had not realized the seriousness of his deceiving nature:
“Whoever fears the LORD walks uprightly, but those who despise him are devious in their ways.” Proverbs 14:2
It must have been confusing. Deception had seemingly worked for him. Because of deceit in his heart he secured the birthright that should have been Esau’s. Under his mother’s influence, he had used deception to secure God’s blessing. Later, it appeared deception worked to increase his flocks. It is like the child who steals candy from the store without getting caught and is rewarded by his friends’ appreciation. Deception seems to work.
Now he had to deal with the fact that this evil was coming upon him because of his deception. God had to deal with him. That night was a major night of repentance when Jacob wrestled with God. God changed his name from Jacob (deceives) to Israel (which means “he struggles with God") because he had struggled with God (and with his sin nature) and had overcome (Genesis 32:28).
Esau came in peace, one of many blessings that were a result of his repentance:
"When a man’s ways are pleasing to the Lord, he makes even his enemies live at peace with him." Proverbs 16:7 Jacob (now Israel) was no longer a deceiver, but the father of many nations, a man who wrestled with God in prayer and won.
The one night of prayer was a climax for Jacob. He was changed from being a deceiver to trusting in God for his help. No sin is so ingrained that God, with our permission, cannot change us:
“Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.” Philippians 2:12-13
Notice that this statement, written by Paul (God’s words to us) is written to Christians (“my dear friends”) who try to obey, asking forgiveness when they fail (“have always obeyed”). It shows they have respect for God (“work out your salvation with fear and trembling”) and allow God to work in them (“God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose”).
Jacob had won over his sin nature and Satan when he had wrestled to obey God.
Satan has been given the legal right to control our lives in areas where there is no repentance:
“…the whole world is under the control of the evil one.” 1 John 5:19 We are open to curses–the curse of God because of disobedience and any curse that an evil force wants to put upon us.
However, no curse can come upon us unless there is sin:
“Like a fluttering sparrow or a darting swallow, an undeserved curse does not come to rest.” Proverbs 26:2 Satan does not have the right to harm us when we obey the Lord, when we repent of sin.
Besides the ongoing consequences of sin, God will not answer prayer in portions of a person’s life until there is repentance:
“If I had cherished sin in my heart, the Lord would not have listened;” Psalm 66:18 Probably unanswered prayer is the consequence of spiritual or physical laws–for instance, a person praying for a good marriage yet indulging in pornography or a person, a person praying for the salvation of his children while giving them cursed money (money acquired dishonestly) or a person praying to be healed of diabetes and yet eating a diet full of sweets.
Often we can’t see the consequences of our actions so we should pray for God forgive us and expose any sin that has hindered our prayers:
“But who can discern their own errors? Forgive my hidden faults. Keep your servant also from willful sins; may they not rule over me…” Psalm 19:12-13
Sometimes a whole nation’s fate can depend on repentance:
“if my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.” 2 Chronicles 7:14
God always answers prayer of sincere repentance:
“…Give ear to my prayer– it does not arise from deceitful lips. “ Psalm 17:1
To repent of any sin is to change our mind about that sin. We need to realize how much sin harms God, others and ourselves; we need to place blame where it belongs–ourselves; and we need to change our actions in order to give proof to God, others and ourselves of the sincerity of our repentance. When we have done that, God will freely forgive. Then we can accept His forgiveness and give Him praise.
We can ask forgiveness and repent anytime:
“The Lord is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him…” Psalm 103:8-11
THE EXAMPLE OF JOSEPH’S BROTHERS
Joseph was the favorite son of his father Jacob. That was one of the reasons his brothers hated him. Another reason was his dream:
Genesis 37:6-11
“He said to them, “Listen to this dream I had: We were binding sheaves of grain out in the field when suddenly my sheaf rose and stood upright, while your sheaves gathered around mine and bowed down to it.”
His brothers said to him, “Do you intend to reign over us? Will you actually rule us?” And they hated him all the more because of his dream and what he had said.
Then he had another dream, and he told it to his brothers. “Listen,” he said, “I had another dream, and this time the sun and moon and eleven stars were bowing down to me.”
When he told his father as well as his brothers, his father rebuked him and said, “What is this dream you had? Will your mother and I and your brothers actually come and bow down to the ground before you?” His brothers were jealous of him, but his father kept the matter in mind.” Genesis 37:6-11
When the brothers had been gone a long time tending the sheep, Jacob sent Joseph to look for them.
Genesis 37:19-35
““Here comes that dreamer!” they said to each other. “Come now, let’s kill him and throw him into one of these cisterns and say that a ferocious animal devoured him. Then we’ll see what comes of his dreams.”
When Reuben heard this, he tried to rescue him from their hands. “Let’s not take his life,” he said. “Don’t shed any blood. Throw him into this cistern here in the wilderness, but don’t lay a hand on him.” Reuben said this to rescue him from them and take him back to his father.
So when Joseph came to his brothers, they stripped him of his robe—the ornate robe he was wearing— and they took him and threw him into the cistern. The cistern was empty; there was no water in it.
As they sat down to eat their meal, they looked up and saw a caravan of Ishmaelites coming from Gilead. Their camels were loaded with spices, balm and myrrh, and they were on their way to take them down to Egypt.
Judah said to his brothers, “What will we gain if we kill our brother and cover up his blood? 27 Come, let’s sell him to the Ishmaelites and not lay our hands on him; after all, he is our brother, our own flesh and blood.” His brothers agreed.
So when the Midianite merchants came by, his brothers pulled Joseph up out of the cistern and sold him for twenty shekels[b] of silver to the Ishmaelites, who took him to Egypt.
When Reuben returned to the cistern and saw that Joseph was not there, he tore his clothes. He went back to his brothers and said, “The boy isn’t there! Where can I turn now?”
Then they got Joseph’s robe, slaughtered a goat and dipped the robe in the blood. They took the ornate robe back to their father and said, “We found this. Examine it to see whether it is your son’s robe.”
He recognized it and said, “It is my son’s robe! Some ferocious animal has devoured him. Joseph has surely been torn to pieces.”
Then Jacob tore his clothes, put on sackcloth and mourned for his son many days. All his sons and daughters came to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted. “No,” he said, “I will continue to mourn until I join my son in the grave.” So his father wept for him.” Genesis 37:19-35
Joseph was in Egypt several years. He trusted and obeyed God despite the circumstances. Because of the gift of being able to interpret dreams which God had given him, he was put in charge of all Egypt, the largest empire in the world at that time. He had interpreted Pharaoh’s dream correctly that there would be seven years of plenty followed seven years of famine. The famine was severe in other countries outside Egypt, also.
Genesis 42: 3-24
Jacob sent “…ten of Joseph’s brothers…to buy grain from Egypt. But Jacob did not send Benjamin, Joseph’s brother, with the others, because he was afraid that harm might come to him…
Now Joseph was the governor of the land, the person who sold grain to all its people. So when Joseph’s brothers arrived, they bowed down to him with their faces to the ground. As soon as Joseph saw his brothers, he recognized them, but he pretended to be a stranger and spoke harshly to them. “Where do you come from?” he asked.
“From the land of Canaan,” they replied, “to buy food.”
Although Joseph recognized his brothers, they did not recognize him. Then he remembered his dreams about them and said to them, “You are spies! You have come to see where our land is unprotected.”
“No, my lord,” they answered. “Your servants have come to buy food. 11 We are all the sons of one man. Your servants are honest men, not spies.”
“No!” he said to them. “You have come to see where our land is unprotected.”
But they replied, “Your servants were twelve brothers, the sons of one man, who lives in the land of Canaan. The youngest is now with our father, and one is no more.”
Joseph said to them, “It is just as I told you: You are spies! And this is how you will be tested: As surely as Pharaoh lives, you will not leave this place unless your youngest brother comes here. 16 Send one of your number to get your brother; the rest of you will be kept in prison, so that your words may be tested to see if you are telling the truth. If you are not, then as surely as Pharaoh lives, you are spies!” And he put them all in custody for three days.
On the third day, Joseph said to them, “Do this and you will live, for I fear God: If you are honest men, let one of your brothers stay here in prison, while the rest of you go and take grain back for your starving households. But you must bring your youngest brother to me, so that your words may be verified and that you may not die.” This they proceeded to do.
They said to one another, “Surely we are being punished because of our brother. We saw how distressed he was when he pleaded with us for his life, but we would not listen; that’s why this distress has come on us.”
Reuben replied, “Didn’t I tell you not to sin against the boy? But you wouldn’t listen! Now we must give an accounting for his blood.” They did not realize that Joseph could understand them, since he was using an interpreter.
He turned away from them and began to weep, but then came back and spoke to them again…”
Genesis 42: 3-24
After keeping Simeon, one of the ten brothers, as a hostage Joseph let the others go back to Canaan telling not to return to Egypt unless they brought their youngest brother with them. Jacob finally let them take the youngest brother, Benjamin, to Egypt to get grain because the famine was so severe. When they left Joseph had his silver drinking cup planted in Benjamin’s bag of grain and sent his servant to bring the brothers back to Egypt.
Genesis 44:16-34
““What can we say to my lord?” Judah replied. “What can we say? How can we prove our innocence? God has uncovered your servants’ guilt. We are now my lord’s slaves—we ourselves and the one who was found to have the cup.”
But Joseph said, “Far be it from me to do such a thing! Only the man who was found to have the cup will become my slave. The rest of you, go back to your father in peace.”
Then Judah went up to him and said: “Pardon your servant, my lord, let me speak a word to my lord. Do not be angry with your servant, though you are equal to Pharaoh himself. My lord asked his servants, ‘Do you have a father or a brother?’ And we answered, ‘We have an aged father, and there is a young son born to him in his old age. His brother is dead, and he is the only one of his mother’s sons left, and his father loves him.’
“Then you said to your servants, ‘Bring him down to me so I can see him for myself.’ And we said to my lord, ‘The boy cannot leave his father; if he leaves him, his father will die.’ But you told your servants, ‘Unless your youngest brother comes down with you, you will not see my face again.’ When we went back to your servant my father, we told him what my lord had said.
“Then our father said, ‘Go back and buy a little more food.’ But we said, ‘We cannot go down. Only if our youngest brother is with us will we go. We cannot see the man’s face unless our youngest brother is with us.’
“Your servant my father said to us, ‘You know that my wife bore me two sons. One of them went away from me, and I said, “He has surely been torn to pieces.” And I have not seen him since. If you take this one from me too and harm comes to him, you will bring my gray head down to the grave in misery.’
“So now, if the boy is not with us when I go back to your servant my father, and if my father, whose life is closely bound up with the boy’s life, sees that the boy isn’t there, he will die. Your servants will bring the gray head of our father down to the grave in sorrow. Your servant guaranteed the boy’s safety to my father. I said, ‘If I do not bring him back to you, I will bear the blame before you, my father, all my life!’
“Now then, please let your servant remain here as my lord’s slave in place of the boy, and let the boy return with his brothers. How can I go back to my father if the boy is not with me? No! Do not let me see the misery that would come on my father.” Genesis 44:16-34
Genesis 45:1-15
“Then Joseph could no longer control himself before all his attendants, and he cried out, “Have everyone leave my presence!” So there was no one with Joseph when he made himself known to his brothers… Joseph said to his brothers, “I am Joseph! Is my father still living?” But his brothers were not able to answer him, because they were terrified at his presence.
Then Joseph said to his brothers, “Come close to me.” When they had done so, he said, “I am your brother Joseph, the one you sold into Egypt! And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you. For two years now there has been famine in the land, and for the next five years there will be no plowing and reaping. But God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance.
“So then, it was not you who sent me here, but God. He made me father to Pharaoh, lord of his entire household and ruler of all Egypt. Now hurry back to my father and say to him, ‘This is what your son Joseph says: God has made me lord of all Egypt. Come down to me; don’t delay. You shall live in the region of Goshen and be near me—you, your children and grandchildren, your flocks and herds, and all you have. I will provide for you there, because five years of famine are still to come. Otherwise you and your household and all who belong to you will become destitute.’
“You can see for yourselves, and so can my brother Benjamin, that it is really I who am speaking to you. Tell my father about all the honor accorded me in Egypt and about everything you have seen. And bring my father down here quickly.”
Then he threw his arms around his brother Benjamin and wept, and Benjamin embraced him, weeping. And he kissed all his brothers and wept over them. Afterward his brothers talked with him.”
Genesis 45:1-15
The brothers changed their mind about their sin. They realized bad things were happening to them because of their sin, and they wished they hadn’t sinned. For many years they had had to see the suffering of their father who believed Joseph was dead. Now it was brought to a climax. Perhaps Simeon, probably the chief instigator (Jacob had this to say in his final words to his sons: “Simeon and Levi are brothers…Cursed be their anger, so fierce, and their fury, so cruel!…” Genesis 49:5-7—referring to another offense, but showing their character) had to spend time in an Egyptian prison to repent.
I wish I could say I was like Joseph, but I and probably most of us are like Judah. It takes a lot to make us come to repentance, not necessarily in admitting we are sinners, but in changing our minds about specific sins—enough to make us stop sinning in that particular way. But the wonderful thing is that out of the twelve sons of Jacob, Judah was the ancestor of Jesus. Maybe this is because he is like most of us. His name means praise. And Joseph’s unconditional forgiveness of his brothers demonstrates Jesus unconditional forgiveness of us.
First we must realize we have sinned:
"If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.” 1 John 1:8
Then we must confess and forsake our sin:
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:9 Then God will forgive us and purify us.
If we forsake our sin and are faithful to Him, God will reward us in some way, even if it is the peace and joy of being close to Him.
We would consider Job a very righteous man, but Job said after God spoke to him:
“Therefore I despise myself and repent in dust and ashes.” Job 42:6 He had realized the power and holiness of God.
God gave Job twice what he had before his suffering and repentance. Notice that men that really obeyed God like Daniel, Joseph (both in the OT and Mary’s husband), Paul and John were given visions and dreams and the ability to interpret them.
God says to the unbeliever, but it could apply to the believer:
“Repent at my rebuke! Then I will pour out my thoughts to you, I will make known to you my teachings.” Proverbs 1:23 Holy people hear from God.
Holy people can be God’s spokespeople:
“Therefore this is what the LORD says: “If you repent, I will restore you that you may serve me; if you utter worthy, not worthless, words, you will be my spokesman…” Jeremiah 15:19
Holy people will not give the devil a foothold to destroy them in any way:
“…I will judge each of you according to your own ways, declares the Sovereign LORD. Repent! Turn away from all your offenses; then sin will not be your downfall.” Ezekiel 18:30
Holy people will be refreshed from the Lord:
“Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord,” Acts 3:19
Pray Psalm 19:7-14 often:
“The law of the LORD is perfect, refreshing the soul. The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy, making wise the simple. The precepts of the LORD are right, giving joy to the heart. The commands of the LORD are radiant, giving light to the eyes. The fear of the LORD is pure, enduring forever. The decrees of the LORD are firm, and all of them are righteous. They are more precious than gold, than much pure gold; they are sweeter than honey, than honey from the honeycomb. By them your servant is warned; in keeping them there is great reward. But who can discern their own errors? Forgive my hidden faults. Keep your servant also from willful sins; may they not rule over me. Then I will be blameless, innocent of great transgression.
May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.” Psalm 19:7-14
The Greek words for reconciliation are: katallasso–”…to change from enmity to friendship, to reconcile”; Apokatallasso–”a stronger form of katallasso, to change from one condition to another, so as to leave all enmity and leave no impediment to unity and peace”; Diallasso “to effect an alternation, to exchange, and hence, to reconcile, in cases of mutual hostility yielding to mutual concession.” Vine’s Expository Dictionary
We needed to be reconciled to God. Jesus made reconciliation possible by dying to pay the penalty for our sins. “But God demonstrated his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” Romans 5:8
Our relationship with man is affected by our relationship with God; our relationship with God is affected by our relationship with man. We must be reconciled with each other. “Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother, then come and offer your gift.” Matthew 5:23-24
“… Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry…” Ephesians 4:26b If we have offended someone or someone has offended us, we must resolve the conflict as soon as possible. ”In your anger do not sin’…” Ephesians 4:26a To harbor a grudge is sin (“Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against one of your people…” Leviticus 19:18). The devil will use our anger (“…do not give the devil a foothold”) to cause a “bitter root” to grow that will “defile many.” Hebrews 12:15 We must repent, which involves doing what we can to bring reconciliation.
Repentance can lead to reconciliation. For example, Jews needed to repent of their attitude to the Gentiles before they could be reconciled to each other. God wanted to reconcile Himself with the Gentiles through the Jews. He wanted to open the door to presenting the gospel to the Gentiles: “…God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.” Colossians 1:27 God had always allowed Gentiles into His salvation if they repented and turned to him (consider Rahab–Joshua 2-6 Matthew 1:5 Hebrews 11:31 James 2:25 Ruth–the book of Ruth Matthew 1:5; Naaman–2 Kings 5 Luke 4:27)
Jews were so prejudiced against Gentiles that Peter, the Jewish apostle, had to have a vision repeated three times (Acts 10:10) before realizing God was serious in His desire to save the Gentiles, that He had
Reconciliation involves action. Peter had to act on his vision. He had to follow the Spirit’s leading to the house of Cornelius, a God-fearing Gentile. Then he had to go up to Jerusalem and explain precisely what had happened to the other Jewish believers.
* RESTORATION, RESTITUTION OR REQUIRED ACTION
Nehemiah confronted the nobles and officials because they are exacting usury from their fellow Jews and causing some of them to go into slavery. ‘“We will give it back,’ they said. ‘And we will not demand anything more. We will do as you say.’” Nehemiah 5:12 The nobles and officials made restitution.
The Greek word for “restoration” is apokatastasis, from apo meaning “back, again and kathistem–to set in order.” Peter says to the onlookers: “He (Jesus) must remain in heaven until the time comes for God to restore everything…”Acts 3:21 The word "restore" is the same word used for restitution. In English usage restitution has the further meaning of making good any loss, damage or injury. Restitution (restoring, setting in order, making good any loss, damage or injury) demonstrates that there has been repentance.
Repentance and reconciliation often require restoration or restitution. Restitution is necessary to restore relationships. When there is any dishonesty, there is a loss of trust and respect. Sometimes this can never be regained, but a truly repentant person will do all he can to bring healing to people he has hurt.
Zacchaeus voluntarily made restitution fourfold. He told Jesus: “‘Look, Lord! Here and now I give half my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount.” Luke 19:8
Zacchaeus knew that the Law required that the penalty for fraud was to pay in full and add one fifth:
“…If anyone sins and is unfaithful to the Lord by deceiving his neighbor about something entrusted to him or left in his care or stolen, or if he cheats him, or if he finds lost property and lies about it. Or if he swears falsely, or if he commits any such sin that people may do—when he thus sins and becomes guilty, he must return what he has stolen or taken by extortion, or what is entrusted to him, or the lost property he found, or whatever it was he swore falsely about. He must make restitution in full, add a fifth of the value to it and give it to the owner on the day he presents his guilt offering.” Leviticus 6:1-5
However, Zacchaeus went beyond the required restitution and vowed to pay fourfold—the price for stealing a sheep: “If a man steals an ox or a sheep and slaughters it or sells it, he must pay back five head of cattle and four sheep for the sheep.” Exodus 22:1 He loved Jesus so much, he was willing to do all he could to bring healing to the people he had hurt.
Jesus said to him: “Today salvation has come to this house…” Luke 19:9 Jesus knew and we know that his heart was changed when Zacchaeus showed himself to be truly repentant.
Sometimes, under Old Testament Law, a thief had to pay back seven times the amount taken: “Men do not despise a thief if he steals to satisfy his hunger when he is starving. Yet if he is caught, he must pay back sevenfold, though it cost him all the wealth of his house.” Proverbs 6:30-31 We can understand why someone steals when he is starving. But sometimes, the thief is excused with little or no consequence or even given help. Especially, as Christians, we think we are applying God’s mercy when, in fact, we are enabling the sinner to continue in his sin. We can understand but should not excuse sin unless God is directing us to do so.
God required a sevenfold punishment of the unrepentant Israelites:
"“But if you will not listen to me and carry out all my commands, and if you reject my decrees and abhor my laws and fail to carry out all my commands and so violate my covenant, then I will do this to you; I will bring upon you sudden terror, wasting diseases and fever that will destroy your sight and drain your life. You will plant seeds in vain, because your enemies will eat them. I will set my face against you so that you will be defeated by your enemies; those who hate you will rule over you, and you will flee even when no one is pursuing you. If after all this you will not listen to me, I will punish you for your sins seven times over…If you remain hostile toward me and refuse to listen to me, I will multiply your sins seven times over, as your sins deserve…If in spite of these things you do not accept my correction but continue to be hostile toward me, I myself will be hostile toward you and will afflict you for your sins seven times over…If in spite of this you still do not listen to me but continue to be hostile toward me, then in my anger I will be hostile toward you, and I myself will punish you for your sins seven times over…I will scatter you among the nations and will draw out my sword and pursue you. Your land will be laid waste and your cities will lie in ruins. Then the land will enjoy its sabbath years (every seven years the land was not to be planted, but to lie in rest) all the time that it lies desolate…” Leviticus 26:14-35
We live under grace instead of Law since Jesus came. We also each have the power of the Holy Spirit. We have direct access to God. We need to ask God and He will let us know what restitution is required in each instance.
The laws of our land impose a penalty when crime is committed as a deterrent from committing the same crime again. Restitution varies according to the crime. We should pray that our justice system applies God’s wisdom.
What should we do if we are the one to whom something wrong has been done?
(1 We may be able to forgive without confrontation: “A man’s wisdom gives him patience; it is to his glory to overlook an offense.” Proverbs 19:11
(2 We need God’s wisdom before we rebuke someone. It would not do any good and maybe even cause harm to rebuke some people: ” Whoever corrects a mocker brings on insult; whoever rebukes a wicked man incurs abuse. Do not rebuke a mocker or he will hate you; rebuke a wise man and he will love you. Instruct a wise man and he will be wiser still; teach a righteous man and he will add to his learning.” Proverbs 9:7-9
(3 Some people need to be rebuked for their good or for our good, but at the proper time and in the proper way. In seeking for repentance and reconciliation, the general rule is: “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” Proverbs 12:18 “…Speaking the truth in love…” Ephesians 4:15 is the best way.
Sometimes we are required to confront someone: “Do not hate your brother in your heart. Rebuke
your neighbor frankly so you will not share in his guilt.” Leviticus 19:17
The nobles and officials made restitution because Nehemiah confronted them (Nehemiah 5). Nehemiah had the courage and wisdom to speak “…the truth in love…” Ephesians 4:15
“Like an earring of gold or an ornament of fine gold is a wise man’s rebuke to a listening ear.” Proverbs 25:12 A wise man’s rebuke brings healing to everyone involved.
“Better is open rebuke than hidden love.” Proverbs 27:5 Sometimes a rebuke is a sign of love. It takes courage to confront in a meaningful manner: “The kisses of an enemy may be profuse, but faithful are the wounds of a friend.” Proverbs 27:6
“All Scripture is God breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work” 2 Timothy 3:16-17 One of the uses of the Bible is for rebuking. When Scripture is used the offender knows God is speaking: “The word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart.” Hebrews 4:12
“…Rebuke them sharply, so that they will be sound in the faith.” Titus 1:13 Occasionally a pastor must rebuke his congregation. More often an individual needs to be rebuked. Sometimes a person cannot see his sin clearly until he is rebuked. For example, Nathan had to rebuke David (2 Samuel 12) before he could see his sin and repent.
“…Encourage and rebuke with all authority…” Titus 2:15 Encouraging and rebuking are linked together–both are important.
We must gently instruct when that is possible to bring the desired result: "And the Lord’s servant must not quarrel; instead, he must be kind to everyone, able to teach, not resentful. Those who oppose him he must gently instruct, in the hope that God will grant them repentance leading them to a knowledge of the truth, and that they will come to their senses and escape from the trap of the devil, who has taken them captive to do his will. 2 Timothy 2:24-26
We should be kind, especially to our elders: “Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father. Treat younger men as brothers, older women as mothers, and younger women as sisters, with absolute purity.” 1 Timothy 5:1
When we have to confront someone the Bible gives us guidelines:
If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault, just between the two of you. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over. But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established with the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church; and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.” Matthew 18:15-18
“If your brother sins against you, go and show him his fault…” Notice that this concerns your brother, a fellow Christian. He has sinned against you. You are to take the initiative to confront him.
“Just between the two of you…”–this is where most of us fall short. “A man who lacks judgment derides his neighbor…” Proverbs 11:13 “With his mouth the godless destroy his neighbor…” Proverbs 11:9 We can really damage a person by talking about him, and it may not even be true! “He who covers over an offense promotes love, but whoever repeats the matter separates close friends.” Proverbs 17:9 Our goal should be the same as God’s–to bring peace, righteousness and love. “If he listens to you, you have won your brother over.” This is the ideal situation. Often, there is greater understanding and friendship after this confrontation.
“But if he will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established with the testimony of two or three witnesses.’” The Old Testament says, “One witness is not enough to convict a man accused of any crime or offense he has committed. A matter must be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.” Deuteronomy 19:15
The Bible even gives clear direction about who the witnesses are that come along.
"If any of you has a dispute with another, dare he take it before the ungodly for judgment instead of before the saints? Do you not know that the saints will judge the world? And if you are to judge the world, are you not competent to judge trivial cases? Do you not know that we will judge angels? How much more the things of this life!” 1 Corinthians 6:1-3
Christians are to be the witnesses. They are preparing for the day when they will judge angels: “If any of you has a dispute with another, dare he take it before the ungodly for judgment instead of before the saints? Do you not know that the saints will judge the world? And if you are to judge the world, are you not competent to judge trivial cases? 3 Do you not know that we will judge angels? How much more the things of this life! Therefore, if you have disputes about such matters, appoint as judges even men of little account in the church!” 1 Corinthians 6:1-4
“If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church;” Matthew 18:17b The church is made up of believers in Jesus Christ. Usually this would be the local congregation. “and if he refuses to listen even to the church, treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.” Matthew 18:17b To the Jews a pagan was someone with whom you were to have no contact.
If someone sins against you: Go, by yourself, and confront him. If he doesn’t repent, take two or three fellow Christians to establish your testimony. If he still does not repent tell it to the church. If he still does not repent, do not fellowship with him. At this point, the church might also have to discipline him.
(4 Sometimes an offender must be disciplined. One way we are required to discipline is to “…treat him as you would a pagan or a tax collector.” Matthew 18:17
For a serious offense, the church might have to discipline: “When you are assembled in the name of our Lord Jesus and I am with you in spirit, and the power of our Lord Jesus is present, hand this man over to Satan, so that the sinful nature may be destroyed and his spirit saved on the day of the Lord.” 1 Corinthians 6:4-5
Often discipline is the most loving thing we can do. God disciplines those He loves: “…My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines those he loves, and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son.” Hebrews 12:5-6
Samson is an example of someone whom the Lord loved and had to discipline. Samson had been set apart to God from birth (Judges 13:5; 7; 25). The Spirit of the Lord had come upon him in power several times in his fight against the Philistines (Judges 14: 6, 19; 15:14; 15:19).
However, Samson had a major failing. He liked Philistine women. The Lord had commanded the Israelites not to marry foreign women (Exodus 34:15-16 Deuteronomy 7:1-4 Judges 3:4-5). Samson did not seem to think the Lord meant what He said. He planned to marry a Philistine woman (Judges 14-15:8), visited a Philistine prostitute–probably one example of several instances (Judges 16:1-3)–and, finally, fell in love with Delilah (Judges 16:4-22).
The Philistine rulers went to Delilah and said they would pay eleven hundred shekels of silver, an extraordinary generous payment, if she could lure Samson into telling her the secret of his great strength. Because Samson had taken himself out from under the Lord’s protection he fell for what should have been obvious: "So he told her everything. ‘No razor has ever been used on my head,’ he said, because I have been a Nazirite, set apart to God since birth. If my head were shaved, my strength would leave me, and I would become as weak as any other man." Judges 16:17
Having put him to sleep on her lap, she called in a man to shave off the seven braids of his hair. When she called that the Philistines were upon him, he awoke from his sleep and thought that he would shake himself free as he had done before: "…But he did not know that the Lord had left him." Judges 16:20
"A man who remains stiff-necked after many rebukes will suddenly be destroyed without remedy." Proverbs 29:1 Samson was in this situation. God had to punish him severely. The Philistine rulers seized him, gouged out his eyes and took him to Gaza, a Philistine city where he had displayed great strength, to grind corn.
God planned his physical punishment as a spiritual blessing. Samson spent many hours alone grinding flour. God had Samson in a place where all he could do was think about what he had lost and why he had lost it. “But the hair on his head began to grow…” Judges 16:22. His hair was the symbol of his relationship with God and the power of God. All he could do was think about his relationship with God (if he had not been a true child of God, he would have chosen to curse God). That relationship, like his hair, began to grow.
The Philistine rulers assembled to offer a great sacrifice to their god, Dagon, because he had delivered Samson into their hands. When they brought Samson out to "entertain" them, they stood him among the pillars that supported a temple crowded with men and women. Then Samson prayed to the Lord: "O Sovereign Lord, remember me. O God, please strengthen me just once more, and let me with one blow get revenge on the Philistines for my two eyes." Judges 16:28
Bracing himself against the two pillars and pushing with all his might, he said, "Let me die with the Philistines." Judges16:30 He came back into the anointing of God in such strength that “…he killed many more when he died than while he lived.” Judges 16:30 Discipline brought Samson into a closer relationship with God than he had ever been. He brought more glory to God in his death than his life.
Before we enter into giving discipline, we must make sure we are in a right relationship with God: “But if we judged ourselves, we would not come under judgment. When we are judged by the Lord, we are being disciplined so that we will not be condemned with the world.” 1 Corinthians 11:31-32 Let us make sure we recognize the discipline of the Lord and correct ourselves.
(5 Sometimes we have done all we can and there is no repentance, no reconciliation. Remember that, even God tries to correct people, but sometimes they will not listen:
"Wisdom calls aloud in the street, she raises her voice in the public squares; at the head of the noisy streets she cries out, in the gateways of the city she makes her speech: ‘How long will you simple ones love your simple ways? How long will mockers delight in mockery and fools hate knowledge? If you had responded to my rebuke, I would have poured out my heart to you and made my thoughts known to you. But since you rejected me when I called and no one gave heed when I stretched out my hand, since you ignored all my advice and would not accept my rebuke, I in turn will laugh at your disaster; I will mock when calamity overtakes you…" Proverbs 1:20-33
After we have done everything possible and there is no repentance, we must leave it in God’s hands knowing we have done our part.
Forgiveness must come with repentance in order to bring reconciliation and restoration.
Forgive means “to give up the wish to punish or get even with; not have hard feelings at or toward; pardon; excuse” The World Book Dictionary
The Greek words for forgive are: aphieni– (verb) to remit or forgive debts or sins; charizoma– (verb) to bestow a favor unconditionally, is used in the act of forgiveness, whether divine…or human; apoluo–to loose from…release; aphesis– (noun) denotes a dismissal, release.
Involved in repentance is accepting God’s forgiveness. Judas was sorry for his sin and even tried to make restitution (Matthew 27:3-10), but he did not ask God’s forgiveness.
In the following passage involving forgiveness, Jesus is telling His disciples that the Father is sending them to tell the gospel as He has sent Jesus: “If you forgive anyone his sins, they are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.” John 20:23 “God does not forgive people’s sins because we do so, nor does he withhold forgiveness because we do. Rather, those who proclaim the gospel are in effect forgiving or not forgiving sins, depending on whether the hearers accept or reject Jesus Christ.” NIV Study Bible
God desires that all men should know Him. "…He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” 2 Peter 3:9. He will never turn anyone away: “…Jesus declared…whoever comes to me I will never drive away.” John 6:35-37
God requires us to accept His example of forgiveness: “Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the evil one. For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive you your sins. Matthew 6:12-15 God will not forgive us our sins if we do not forgive others their sins against us.
This same principle is taught in the parable Jesus told (Matthew 18:23-35) about a king who forgave one of his servants a huge amount of money. That servant would not forgive one of his fellow servants and had him thrown into prison until he could pay. When the king found out about it, he said, “You wicked servant…I canceled your debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you? In anger his master turned him over to the jailors to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. This is how your heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart. Matthew 18:32-35
It could be interpreted that the jailors who torture the unmerciful servant are demons that an unforgiving person allows in by his unforgiveness. We are tormented when we hold any bitterness against another.
“And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” Mark 11:25 This implies that God will not hear our prayers if we hold unforgiveness.
“One of the marks of a disciple is willingness to forgive. Sin is not to be over-looked, nor lightly passed over; the wrongdoer must be rebuked, his sin must be discussed to his face and not behind his back. Repentance must precede forgiveness. But subject to these conditions there no limit to the times forgiveness ought to be extended.” The New Layman’s Bible Commentary p. 1285
Much of our unforgiveness comes from hypocritical judging: “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” Luke 6:37 If we do not want to be judged, condemned or have others hold our sins against us, we must not judge, condemn or harbor unforgiveness.
Also, our unforgiveness may be caused by our not handling the situation properly. If we do not rebuke our brother, he may not be aware that he has sinned against us: “So watch yourselves. ‘If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, ‘I repent,’ forgive him.’” Luke 17:3 If someone repents and confesses, his sin must be forgiven and not held against him.
“Do not hate your brother in your heart. Rebuke your neighbor frankly so you will not share in his guilt.” Leviticus 19:17
"Our forgiveness of one another is to be patterned after the way God forgives us. From His example, we learn that while our love for others needs to be unconditional, there is a place for conditional forgiveness. Whether or not we consider an offense a ‘dead issue’ will be determined by whether the offending party is willing to own up to the wrong. Christ like love makes it necessary sometimes to withhold forgiveness until the one who has done the harm admits responsibility for it (Luke 17:1-4)." The Forgiveness Of God by Martin R. De Haan II
We are to pray for a person who has not repented, but we might need to withhold fellowship or other services, which we would give to someone who has repented.
“Human forgiveness is to be strictly analogous to Divine forgiveness, e.g. Matt. 6:12. If certain conditions are fulfilled, there is no limitation to Christ’s law of forgiveness. Matt. 18:21, 22 The conditions are repentance and confession, Matt. 18:15-17 Luke 17:3" Vine’s Expository Dictionary
"Make every effort to live at peace with all men and to be holy…" Hebrews 12:14 If we live the way God wants us to, we will live at peace with others even though there cannot be a fully restored relationship with some individuals. We need the Lord’s help to change us so that we have forgiving hearts. Then He will handle the rest: "When a man’s ways are pleasing to the Lord, he makes even his enemies live at peace with him." Proverbs 16:17
"If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." Romans 12:18 We are to do all that we can, under the Lord’s direction, to live at peace with everyone.
Recognizing our sins and realizing how they hurt God is the first step toward repentance. In the last days, just before Jesus comes back, “because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold,” Matthew 24:12 People will lose their ability is recognize sin and their love toward God because of the influence of others.
We are greatly affected by those around us, especially our friends and those we try to please: “Fear of man will prove to be a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is kept safe.” Proverbs 29:25 We must fear God and nothing else.
The book of Proverbs gives a good example of how others influence us: “Do not make friends with a hot-tempered man, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn his ways and get yourself ensnared.” Proverbs 22:24-25 God is commanding us to not be friends with a hot-tempered man. We should ask God if there are any “friends” with whom we should not be too closely associated. In fact, God commands us not to be ”yoked together” or legally or spiritually bonded to anyone who is not a believer. “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever. " 2 Corinthians 6:14-15
Solomon turned away from serving God because of the influence of his wives! “As Solomon grew old, his wives turned his heart after other gods, and his heart was not fully devoted to the Lord his God, as the heart of David his father had been.” 1 Kings 11:4
Ultimately, our behavior is up to us, and we cannot blame anyone else for our failures: “Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked or stand in the way of sinners or sit in the seat of mockers. But his delight is in the law of the Lord, and on his law he meditates day and night.” Psalm 1:1-2 If we store God’s word in our hearts so that we can continually live by what we know is true, we guard our hearts–making sure we obey God even in our thinking and inner most being: “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” Proverbs 4:23
However, because we cannot always see our sins clearly, we need to be accountable to others. We need people around us that know the Lord, sincerely love us, are wise and are not afraid to speak the truth.
Paul was such a friend to the Corinthians. First, he tells them to be careful of the company they are keeping: “Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character." 1 Corinthians 15:33 Then he rebukes them: “Come back to your senses as you ought, and stop sinning; for there are some who are ignorant of God–I say this to your shame.” 1 Corinthians 15:34 He sounds harsh, but what he says is for their good and is needed: “He who rebukes a man will in the end gain more favor than he who has a flattering tongue.” Proverbs 28:23
In fact, having such friends is one of the greatest joys of life: “Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of one’s friend springs from his earnest counsel.” Proverbs 27:9
The greater the battle, the more wise advisors are needed: “A wise man has great power, and a man of knowledge increases strength; for waging war you need guidance, and for victory many advisers.” Proverbs 24:5-6 Many people led by the Spirit of God to give guidance brings victory.\: “Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” Proverbs 15:22
God commands us to rely on others. He commands the church to meet together: “Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another–and all the more as you see the Day approaching.” Hebrews 10:25 God wants us to be accountable to one another so we recognize when we are sinning. God wants us to encourage one another, especially when wickedness increases. God wants us to love each other and fulfill each others needs.:. “How good and pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity!” Psalm 133:1 God’s heart is unity, and it is difficult to have unity if we do not communicate and understand one another.
God wants all people to repent. He “…wants all men to be saved and come to a knowledge of the truth.” 1 Timothy 2:4 He wants people that have accepted His free gift of love to be reconciled. God’s joy is made complete when we love each other and work together to bring His kingdom and love to all men: “Make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose.” Philippians 2:2
If Christians were reconciled to each other, they will work together to reconcile unbelievers to God: “…He has committed to us the message of reconciliation.” 2 Corinthians 5:19 because “…’As surely as I live, declares the Sovereign Lord, I take no pleasure in the death of the wicked, but rather that they turn from their ways and live. Turn! Turn from your evil ways…” Ezekiel 33:11 God loved mankind so much that He took the first step and sent His only Son to die so they could be restored to fellowship with Him: "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16.
God’s desire is that men love as He loves. A basic requirement of that love is repentance. Repentance involves reconciliation, restoration or restitution, and accepting and extending forgiveness. He gives us clear direction: pray and receive His help and wisdom, confront if necessary, make restitution if we are the offender, and forgive if we have been offended.
God wants us to love Him with all that we are and have: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” Matthew 22:37 He wants us to “…Love your neighbor as yourself.” Matthew 22:39 If we love the Lord with all our hearts we will love our neighbor as ourselves and show this by our actions and repent when we have not. Those two commands are all that we need to guide us. Sometimes we need great wisdom and guidance in specific situations, but God has promised us wisdom if we are His children and obey His commands: “Blessed are they who ways are blameless, who walk according to the law of the Lord. Blessed are they who keep his statutes and seek him with all their hearts.” Psalm 119:1-2 He has promised us joy. Joy comes when we are in a right relationship with Him.
THE IMPORTANCE OF REPENTANCE
1. What is repentance? How does the Bible define repentance (2 Corinthians 7:9-12 James 4:7-10). How do we know when someone has repented?
2. What caused David to repent of his sin? What kind of a man was Nathan? What example does this situation give us?
3. Psalm 51 is a psalm of David’s repentance. How can we see David’s change of mind?
4. Why is Manasseh, king if Judah, a good example of God’s grace (2 Chronicles 33:1-20)?
THE EXAMPLE OF JACOB
1. What factors contributed to Jacob having a deceiving nature?
2. How did Jacob deceive Esau into giving him first his birthright, then his blessing? What did this show about Esau? What did it show about Jacob?
3. What did God do in order to bring about Jacob’s repentance?
4. Give an example of your own repentance or the repentance of others in some area.
THE EXAMPLE OF JOSEPH’S BROTHERS
1. Why did Joseph’s brothers plan to kill him?
2. Why was Joseph put in charge of all Egypt?
3. What made Joseph’s brothers repent?
4, Why did Joseph forgive his brothers?
RECONCILIATION
1. What is reconciliation?
2. How does our relationship with God affect our relationship with God and visa versa?
3. What does it mean to "Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry" Ephesians 4:26?
4. How did God bring about the reconciliation between the Jews and Gentiles?
5. Do you have any instances of reconciliation that you could share?
RESTORATION
1. What is restoration or restitution?
2. What did the nobles and officials do when Nehemiah confronted them about exacting usury from their fellow Jews?
3. What restitution did Zacchaeus make? What did it show?
4. How much restitution did the Law demand?
5. When is restitution necessary? How much restitution is necessary?
CONFRONTATION
1. When and why should we confront someone that has sinned against us?
2. What are the steps to godly confrontation?
3. When and why should a church discipline someone?
4. Why do you think Samson did not see the seriousness of liking Philistine women? What can we equate that with today?
5. Why do you think the Spirit of the Lord left Samson?
6. What clues are there that Samson repented?
7. What should we do if we have done all we can to bring about repentance and reconciliation?
FORGIVENESS
1. Why should we forgive?
2. What hindrances are there to forgiveness?
3. What is conditional forgiveness?
4. How can we forgive?
ACCOUNTABILITY
1. Why should we be accountable to others?
2. To whom should we be accountable?
3. Give examples, from your own life or the Bible, of the influence of others for good or for bad.
4. What are some reasons God would command the church (believers in Jesus) to meet together often?