“Do not pay attention to every word people say, or you may hear your servant cursing you—for you know in your heart that many times you yourself have cursed others.” Ecclesiastes 7:21-22
This verse in Ecclesiastes tells us how to accept unfair criticism. We are to remember that we do the same thing. Therefore, we are not to get angry or necessarily change our course of action.
It is wise to consider the criticism of others and perhaps improve or change. However, just pleasing God is all that is necessary. We are to listen to God and do what He says.
Perhaps there is some truth in their criticism. For instance, maybe we haven’t done the best job possible, but if we have done what God has told us to do and done our best, we can be satisfied.
We are to understand and forgive the criticism of others. This example in David’s life gives a good example of handling criticism well:
“When David and his men reached Ziklag, they found it destroyed by fire and their wives and sons and daughters taken captive. So David and his men wept aloud until they had no strength left to weep. David’s two wives had been captured—Ahinoam of Jezreel and Abigail, the widow of Nabal of Carmel. David was greatly distressed because the men were talking of stoning him; each one was bitter in spirit because of his sons and daughters. But David found strength in the LORD his God.” 1 Samuel 30:3-6
This was no small matter—“the men were talking of stoning” David. He reacted as any of us would—he “was greatly distressed”.
But he handled the matter correctly: “David found strength in the LORD his God.” God gave him peace, wisdom and victory. He inquired of the Lord through Abiathar the priest as to the success of pursuing the enemy. He did pursue them, conquering them and gaining back everything. He forgave his men, probably understanding that they were “bitter in spirit” and had to blame someone. This was shown by his wise and compassionate decision to share the spoils with those who were too exhausted to fight the battle. He even spoke wisely and kindly to “…the evil men and troublemakers…” 1 Samuel 30:22 who didn’t want to share the spoils. All this show his close relationship with God.
The Prophet Isaiah also shows the proper response in handling criticism:
“Because the Sovereign LORD helps me, I will not be disgraced. Therefore have I set my face like flint, and I know I will not be put to shame.” Isaiah 30:7
Isaiah did not let others intimidate him, He knew that God was with him; he was determined to do what he knew was right.
The verse in Ecclesiastes also implies that we are not to judge unfairly.
If we believe in Jesus, we are to judge in many circumstances. Every decision involves judgment:
“Evil men do not understand justice, but those who seek the Lord understand it fully.” Proverbs 28:5
“Why don’t you judge for yourselves what is right?” Luke 12:57
Here Jesus is saying that since they can judge natural phenomena, why can’t they judge that this is the time for the Messiah to appear. Why aren’t they as concerned about their eternal state as the present age. They are to make themselves right with God so that when they appear before Him, they will be declared innocent.
“Stop judging by mere appearances, and make a right judgment.” John 7:24
If we believe in Jesus we have the capability and the responsibility to make right judgments.
“But Peter and John replied, “Judge for yourselves whether it is right in God’s sight to obey you rather than God.” Acts 4:19
Peter and John are telling us to obey God, even if it goes against the laws of men.
“The person with the Spirit makes judgments about all things, but such a person is not subject to merely human judgments, for, “Who has known the mind of the Lord so as to instruct him?” (Isaiah 40:13). But we have the mind of Christ.” 1 Corinthians 2:15-16
God has promised us wisdom – (If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” James 1:5) so we have the “mind of Christ”.
“What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside. “Expel the wicked man from among you.” 1 Corinthians 5:12-13
We are supposed to judge other believers in some circumstances.
“Do you not know that the saints will judge the world? And if you are to judge the world, are you not competent to judge trivial cases? Do you not know that we will judge angels? How much more the things of this life!…I say this to shame you. Is it possible that there is nobody among you wise enough to judge a dispute between believers?” 1 Corinthians 6:2-5
Even the least important Christian can judge fairly.
“I speak to sensible people; judge for yourselves what I say.” 1 Corinthians 10:15
We are able to judge.
However, often our judgment is unfair:
“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” Matthew 7:1-5
We don’t realize our errors (“But who can discern their own errors?…” Psalm 19:12). We might have a much worse fault than those we are accusing.
“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” Luke 6:37
People are apt to judge and condemn those who judge and condemn them. Also, if we expect God to forgive us, we are to forgive others.
“Who are you to judge someone else’s servant? To his own master he stands or falls. And he will stand, for the Lord is able to make him stand.” Romans 14:4
We are God’s servants – only He has the right to judge us.
“You, then, why do you judge your brother? Or why do you look down on your brother? For we will all stand before God’s judgment seat.” Romans 14:10
God will judge – we are not to judge other believers with the attitude of thinking ourselves better than them.
We often judge according to our standards, not Gods. Or if we judge by God’s standards, we don’t know the whole story. For instance, we might say (or at least think) that someone is sick because they did something wrong, or their children misbehave because they are poor parents, or they act a certain way because of wrong motives. We do not know the whole circumstances. Maybe they pray often about their sickness and try their best to follow God’s will and the good advice of others. Maybe if our children acted the way theirs do, we would act the same or even worse. Maybe they have the best intentions but are limited in knowing what to do, etc.
None of us knows exactly how God judges:
“Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out! Who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been his counselor? Who has ever given to God, that God should repay them?” Romans 11:33-35
If we have the “the mind of Christ” we will pray for people, not criticize them.
Even Jesus did not judge unless God the Father instructed Him:
“Jesus replied, “Man, who appointed me a judge or an arbiter between you?” Luke 12:14
Some cases Jesus refused to judge.
“And he has given him authority to judge because he is the Son of Man.” John 5:27
Jesus will judge us at the proper time:
“that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.” Philippians 2:10-11
Jesus has been given all authority, and someday this will be made clear to everyone:
“Then Jesus came to them and said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.” Matthew 28:18
“By myself I can do nothing; I judge only as I hear, and my judgment is just, for I seek not to please myself but him who sent me.” John 5:30
Jesus gives us an example – even though He was “…in very nature God…” Philippians 2:6 He judged only to please His Father.
“You judge by human standards; I pass judgment on no one.” John 8:15
Jesus didn’t come to judge us:
“For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.” John 3:17
“But if I do judge, my decisions are right, because I am not alone. I stand with the Father, who sent me.” John 8:16
God the Father and God the Son (and God the Holy Spirit) who have all wisdom, would judge in exactly the same way.
“I am not seeking glory for myself; but there is one who seeks it, and he is the judge.” John 8:50
God the Father gives glory to Himself and God the Son. He is the Judge, so only what He thinks is of any consequence.
“As for the person who hears my words but does not keep them, I do not judge him. For I did not come to judge the world, but to save it. There is a judge for the one who rejects me and does not accept my words; that very word which I spoke will condemn him at the last day.” John 12:47-48
The main criteria for judgment is whether or not we believe in Jesus.
“…Let God be true, and every man a liar. As it is written: “So that you may be proved right when you speak and prevail when you judge.” Romans 3:4
Only God’s opinion is important.
Paul has the correct attitude toward judgment:
“I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself.” 1 Corinthians 4:3
We are to please God. It isn’t important what others say, unless their message is from God. We can’t even be sure if we are judging ourselves correctly.
“Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord comes. He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men’s hearts. At that time each will receive his praise from God.” 1 Corinthians 4:5
When the Lord comes, He will judge each of us fairly. In the meantime, we should not pay attention when others try to intimidate or judge us. We just need to please God.