Once there was a Great Shepherd. He loved and protected his sheep.

One day the Great Shepherd had to go away, so he carefully found someone to take care of his sheep until he returned.

No sooner had the Great Shepherd left on his journey, when a wolf came and talked to the new shepherd.

“Shepherd,” he said, “for years we’ve been at war with the sheep, but we would like to be your friends. We don’t want to fight anymore. Let’s live in peace.”

Thrilled, the shepherd agreed. Just wait until the Great Shepherd comes back, he thought, he’ll be so impressed.

For days, all was well and peaceful. But then a bleating of sheep drew the shepherd’s attention. A wolf was in the middle of the sheep pen.

“What’s going on?” the shepherd asked.

“This wolf wants to live here. With us!” the sheep huffed, obviously upset.

“I don’t see the problem with that,” the shepherd said. “The wolf and I have come to an agreement. He’s willing to live peacefully.”

The sheep bleated their protests, but the shepherd just gave a self-satisfied smile and walked away. Change is always hard for some, he thought, but this is progress.

It wasn’t long before the sheep adjusted to the wolf. More wolves came, and before long, except for a few old-fashioned sheep who built their own little hiding place and moved off by themselves, the wolves and the sheep lived together as friends.

The shepherd built a comfortable home for himself and put his feet up. Now that there was peace, the wolves could protect the sheep and he could relax.

When a group of sheep came to him one day, he half-heartedly listened to their concerns. They worried about their lambs, stating the wolves were seen to be drooling when around them. When the parents approached the wolves, the wolves snarled at them. The parents were terrified and very concerned for their children.

The shepherd knew it was just a misunderstanding. After all, they had a peace agreement. But he decided to talk to the wolves anyway.

When confronted, the wolves said, “Well, we have found ourselves hungry at the sight of those tasty looking lambs.”

“But we made an agreement,” the shepherd reminded them.

“True,” said the wolf, “but that was with the sheep. There were no lambs then. So they aren’t part of the agreement. If we can have the lambs to eat, we won’t hurt the adult sheep.”

With a sick feeling, the shepherd suddenly realized his mistake. By now the wolves were scattered throughout the sheep pen, and to try to get rid of them would be too difficult. If he tried to get rid of the wolves, they would kill him and all of the sheep. Besides, many of the sheep were friends with the wolves now, would they even mind losing a few lambs? Now what? Should he sacrifice the lambs for the sake of peace? Or should he fight and lose a few sheep? What a predicament, no matter what he did, someone would get hurt. He made an agreement with the wolves to give him one night to decide what he wanted to do.

Then he thought of the old-fashioned sheep. The ones no one had wanted to listen to, that had gone off and built their own little safe place. Would there be enough room in there for all of them? He decided to go and see.

Ashamed, he approached the old-fashioned sheep. Everyone had been so unkind to them, would they even listen?

With shouts of joy, the sheep bleated for the shepherd to come in and see their safe place. “We made it with enough room for everyone,” they told him cheerfully. “We knew this day would come.”

“How soon can they move in?” the shepherd asked, still too ashamed to say sorry.

“Right away! The sooner the better!” the sheep replied.

The shepherd left immediately, and quietly began to sneak the lambs one by one into the safe place. Until he got to one young sheep, snuggled up against a wolf. “I’m not going over there with those bigoted and hateful sheep!” he cried. “They don’t tolerate the wolves who are our friends. I’m more accepting and would never want to be as hateful as them.”

His loud words had brought a crowd, and the wolves began to snarl while some of the sheep remaining huffed in dignity. Other parents with their little lambs snuck over behind the shepherd.

A wolf approached the shepherd, “What were you going to do, shepherd? Try to sneak them away overnight? These sheep are ours. We made an agreement, remember?”

The shepherd stammered. Trying to think of what to say or do, he was shocked when seemingly out of nowhere something hit the wolf and sent him flying through the air. Turning, the shepherd watched in amazement as the Great Shepherd, who had just returned, boldly took on wolf after wolf, sending them yelping and limping away. Sadly, some of the sheep looked angrily at the shepherds and followed them.

Meanwhile, a great cheer went up as the sheep came running to the Great Shepherd. “Our rescuer!” they bleated.

A great feast was held in honor of his return, though some mourned the loss of their foolish sheep friends who had run away with the wolves.

“They’re deceived,” the Great Shepherd told them sadly, “Even if I tried to bring them home, they would only resent me and run away again. But don’t worry, when they finally realize their folly, some of them will escape and come running back to us. And what a day of rejoicing that will be!”

The shepherd bowed before the Great Shepherd, “I am so sorry for what I have done to your flock.”

The Great Shepherd gravely touched the shepherd on the head, “I am sad to see what happened. It took only one decision to change everything. If you had stood your ground when the wolf first came, none of this would have happened. The battle is over now, you are forgiven. Go in peace.”

The shepherd learned his lesson the hard way. Never again would he forget to stand his ground.

“….God keep our land, glorious and free, Oh Canada we stand on Guard for thee…”

Eph. 6:14-17
14 Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness.
15 For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared.
16 In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil.
17 Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

*The shepherd of the flock here is not a particular pastor of any church, but it refers to the church today that isn’t standing its ground. And the wolves are the little bits of sin that we have let into our lives, and into our families.

They say good things come in small packages. Well, I think that sometimes big changes come in small moments as well. When I was in grade 8, I went to the eye doctor and was told that I needed glasses and that my eyes would never get better – that I would need glasses for the rest of my life. By grade 11 I moved on to contact lenses. I felt prettier without glasses, besides, glasses fogged up in the cold, and since I loved the outdoors and at the time lived in the Northwest Territories, glasses were impractical to me. For 17 years I happily wore contacts, until one sad day my eyes went pink. Thinking it was nothing; I took my contacts out and gave my eyes a break for a few days before trying a new pair. Within a few hours, my eyes were pink again. That’s when I found out I’d developed a sensitivity to my contacts. I tried a few different times, and a couple different contact solutions with no success. One day, I decided to just give contacts a try again. It had been a couple of months, and I had another pair of contacts at home. Saying a big prayer, I prayed that God would heal my eyes so that I could wear my contacts again. Then, I got them out and put them in. My husband was away at the time on business for a few days, and we had 2 young children. Within a couple of hours one of my eyes was pink. So, I took my contacts out and went to put my glasses on, and couldn’t find them. I searched frantically for a while, and then decided to try again later as my kids needed some attention. So, through blurred vision we went through our day. I still hadn’t found them by the next morning when it was time to go out. So, I put a contact in my eye that wasn’t pink and drove us to where we needed to go. By that night, I was praying to find my glasses. When I found them the next day, my prayer had changed from “please heal my eyes, I don’t like these glasses.” To: “Thank-you God for my glasses! Thank-you we live in a country and a time in history where we can just go to the eye doctor and get exactly what we need to be able to see!” and from that moment I changed from ungrateful to contented. And it went into other areas of my life, seeing how I’d been ungrateful and needed to change my attitude. In that one small incident, my whole life and perspective was changed. It was a remarkably ordinary moment.

One of the most remarkable times in my life was one of the most ordinary things I’ve ever done. When I was about 13 years old, my mom, dad, brother and I moved from Nova Scotia to the Northwest Territories.  I had major culture shock and missed my old life and friends. I’d grown up in a good and happy Christian home and at a young age of 4 years old I had prayed and made the decision to follow God. I had been surrounded by things of God my whole life. When I moved to the Northwest Territories, my whole world was shaken. The culture was a lot harder in the Northwest Territories and the way to fit in was to go to parties and dances of which I wasn’t allowed. I felt left out and lonely and for the first time in my life I was the outsider. I wanted so badly to just ignore my parents and God and to fit in. I struggled immensely with this. Then on this one remarkably ordinary day I went for a jog and I said to God, “God, I don’t know if it’s worth the price for me to serve you. It’s so lonely, and how do I even know you’re real?” Suddenly I thought of the verse “seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things shall be added to you.” from Matthew. I had sung this song since before I could remember, but had never once thought about what I was singing. But this day, I suddenly understood it. And in my heart that day I really, truly decided to seek, love, and follow God with all of me, even though it meant being different from my peers. I was still lonely after that day, but I had God as a friend and I made other friends who are wonderful friends even now. God really added to me. To this day, when I pass the spot on the road where I understood and made that decision, I still feel that same feeling of relief and peace I’d felt years ago. I think sitting on the fence between God and friends is one of the hardest places to be, and for me that day I was relieved to get off the fence and live a life for God.

These are only a couple of examples of my experiences with the remarkable ordinary. I hope that one day I can share more with you.
 

The farther out that bird sits on those branches the easier it is to fly away, watch out for danger, and see because nothing is blocking it’s view. Also, the farther out that bird sits, the shakier it’s foundation may feel.

And it makes me think. How many of us have enough trust to rest on the highest height of God’s love, and have enough faith that even as the very thing we are resting on shakes, moves, and feels as though it will give way at any moment, we still wait patiently and trust in the knowledge of God’s love.

For we could rest on an inner branch, close to the trunk feeling strong and secure. But then how would we be able to fly up high without having to pass through an obstacle course of branches? And how would we see coming danger? How would we see anything at all with branches in our way?

The farther out we sit, and the more we trust God, the more we will see, live, experience, and enjoy life. As for me I will make the most of every opportunity, do the most I can, go out on a limb – by trusting in God! Even when my very foundation fells shaken, I will wait patiently, for no one can understand the ways of God, and I will trust Him because I know that the branch will stabilize even as I wait.

2004 Jill Forsyth For Personal and Group Use.

I am a seed, I grew in the warmth and comfort of an apple with my brother and sister seeds. Today my life had changed. I’d been taught from a very young age that this would happen – one day I would be on my own. No matter where I landed I had to immediately get down into the ground and tap into the water. I was told that if I didn’t strongly plant my roots in the water I would never grow and produce fruit.

My first thought, when I saw where I was, was one of self-pity and hopelessness. NOTHING was growing here, let alone an apple tree! This situation was impossible! I began to dry up, and I knew that soon I would die. I had completely forgotten what I had learned about being content wherever I am, and making the most of every opportunity. I would have died had a refreshing wind not begun to blow right then. I remembered what I had learned about the wind – it I trusted in it, it would take care of the impossible. I was truly hopeless and at the end of my life, when the wind accomplished the impossible and put movement to what I thought was my immovable little body. I couldn’t move myself – how quickly I had forgotten that I had a Friend who was completely in control of even the impossible.

With renewed vision I began to shift my weight so I could assist the wind in moving me to a better place. But I kept running into clumps of dried mud, and I’d hurt myself. For a while I resisted everything I’d learned about resting in the wind and letting it take care of me, and I kept banging and bumping myself. I finally tired of trying to do things my way, gave in to the wind, and found I was flying better and no longer hurting myself. I soon found myself resting in a small, dried up stream bed. I couldn’t believe it! Here I had completely trusted the wind and look where it had taken me! (Of course I’d forgotten already what the wind had delivered me from only a few short hours before. How foolish of me! I wonder why the wind didn’t give up on me then?) I was so disappointed! Here I was thinking that I would be going to a refreshing land where I could grow by a river with other trees and where people could eat of my fruit. How was I ever to grow here? Even if I did grow – who would come and eat of my fruit? Who would notice me? Who would see my beautiful bark and lovely green leaves?

But there I was. As I laid there, the wind began to blow me down into the ground – into the very depths and darkness of the earth until I could no longer see the sun. Where I had been hot before, I was now in complete darkness and nobody would ever even know that I was there. Nobody would see me – see my shiny, little body. Why had I ever believed that I should trust the wind? My teacher’s didn’t know what they were talking about. Obviously they had never been in my situation! Maybe the wind worked for them, but look where it had brought me!

As I lay there in the dark, cold earth, I felt a dampness begin to creep into me. It was uncomfortable! I resisted it – I didn’t want to feel the dampness because as it hit the cracked areas in me – it would sting. Oh how it hurt! And I had so trusted the wind and look where it had brought me. As if I would ever trust the river!

Days went by, weeks went by. I continued to resist the water. I had had enough – I was sick of being hurt. Yet the water continued to wash over me, and as I lay there, completely helpless and lost in hopelessness, I began to realize that all the dry, cracked areas in my life no longer hurt. In fact, the water felt good on my shell! I began to stop resisting it – maybe I was the one that was wrong. I began to think back and realized that the wind really had helped me. I would have died had the wind not brought me to the water. If I hadn’t found the water I never would have had all the cracks in my body fixed, which would have killed me for sure!

With this realization I began to soak in as much water as I could get, and I sought after the sun. I looked, searched, and I sought after the sun. My very inner being yearned and reached out, and my shell fell away as my very inner parts began to grow upwards toward the sun. The thought crossed my mind that I must be uglier now because I was no longer petite and shiny, but I so desperately wanted the sun that it didn’t stop me.

My roots grew deep into the damp, watery earth, and oh how I now LOVED that water. I was so thankful for the wind that had brought me here. I just wanted to reach the sun.

And one day I saw it! Without even realizing it I had begun to grow up! I could see a glimpse of the sun. The brightness of it lit up the dry ground I was lying under. I had not even completely broken through the earth yet – but I had seen the sun! I was so ecstatic that I just laid there and looked at it. For days I laid there, it turned into weeks, until one day I realized that I had ceased to grow. I felt saddened – what had I done to stop growing? Had I done something wrong? I began to grow again. How silly of me! Of course I couldn’t grow when I didn’t seek the sun. I began to shoot up quicker and quicker.

Years went by and I grew. The sun beat down, and having hard ground with no shade, I grew slowly, and I was a funny shape. I wasn’t beautiful like trees I had seen that grew by rivers and had fruitful ground. I wished I could be as beautiful as they, with long, outstretched branches with green, plush leaves growing on their arms. But I was short and crooked.

It wasn’t until a weary traveler came and sat under my spindly branches to rest from the hot sun that I felt in any way beautiful. The traveler ate one of my apples – it was small and sour, but the traveler seemed relieved, and ate some more. That night I had company as the traveler slept close to my trunk. And suddenly I realized how silly it was of me to compare myself with other trees. Of course I wouldn’t look like them, I was in a completely different situation. I was beautiful – but I had a different beauty then trees that grew in more fertile ground.

As word of me spread, more travelers began to travel my way so that they too could rest under my branches and eat of the little fruit I had. I was so relieved to know that I was useful – I was usable! And as more people came, I began to realize how important I was. I was the only tree here in this desert area, and people needed me. I was beautiful! In fact, I was so important that I decided I no longer needed to worry about keeping myself deeply rooted in the water. I just needed to worry about making myself look beautiful and bigger for when travelers came by. At first I flourished, but then as I began to dry up, I began to wilt. Some of my branches cracked and fell off. I was so embarrassed I tried to cover it up by growing more leaves. But soon even my leaves began to dry up and fall away. Less travelers began to travel my way, and I began to see what I had done to myself. I had heeded the warning of my youth and hadn’t stayed tapped into the water. I was so remorseful I wanted to just wilt and die, yet something in me wouldn’t let me give up now. I didn’t feel I was worthy to go back to the river now, but somehow I knew it would be happy to have me growing there again. I began to focus once again on drinking in the water, and my roots began to grow once again. And the deeper my roots grew, the more water I found. I had forgotten how refreshing the water was! I soaked in as much as I could, and without even realizing it I began to grow my leaves back so that they were greener then ever. And I got more apples – more refreshing then ever. Travelers began to come back and sit under my coverage once again. I was more precarious then ever, now that I had lost some of my precious few branches, but through the words of the travelers I learned that I was more beautiful then ever.

Never again did I forget how much I needed the water. I soaked in all I could, but still, as the years went on I began to grow older. My trunk hardened and I began to grow less apples. Things began to change, especially one day when some rare storm clouds darkened the sky. I shivered in the heavy rain, I missed seeing the sun. The rains poured down, until soon the dried up stream bed I was in turned into a river of rushing, life-bringing water. I could feel my weary, aching limbs giving way against the flowing river. I fought against the river, but I inwardly knew that I couldn’t fight against the water – I’d already tried. So I gave in. Limb after limb floated away, until finally my very roots were pulled along with the river. I sighed happily knowing that when I rested in the water, and let go of what I wanted, more fruit came from it.

As I floated away, my last dying sights were seeing my apples spreading along the banks of the river, spreading more seeds. I laughed with joy realizing that what I had started as one small seed was now a rushing river. Many seeds, fresh and ready to grow and spread their branches, effect other weary travelers, and grow fruit were spreading out along the river bank. Soon the desert would be a fertile land with not only apple trees growing there, but other growth too.

I had lived and I had accomplished what no one else had done. It had been hard, lonely, and completely worth it.

©2004 Jill Forsyth January 23, 1998
For Personal and Group Use.

Hi. My name is Solomon. I wouldn’t be surprised to find out you have heard of me at some point. I was lucky to be born into the family that I was. My father, David, was a widely loved and respected king – not that he didn’t have his enemies, but he was an amazing man. He had this great love for God, in fact, he loved and served God so much that he was known as a man after God’s own heart. As a child, I longed to be like him. He had so much wisdom and experience. Not that he never made any mistakes, after all – I was one of his mistakes. He slept with my mother, Bathsheba, who is very beautiful, while she was still married to another man. That was all it took for my older sibling to be conceived. To hide it, my father had her husband killed to try and cover up the sin he had committed, for it is a very wrong thing to sleep with another man’s wife. Sounds gruesome, huh? Well, I guess it is, but so much killing and violence goes on around here, that I guess I didn’t think too much about it. My older sibling died while still young. I was the next one to come along. Despite what my father had done, he was so repentant about his sin before God, that it wasn’t long before the whole thing had passed. Not that there were no repercussions for what he had done, on the contrary I’m sure what he did changed the course of his life, but it wasn’t spoken of anymore, or thought of too often.

I greatly looked up to my dad. I spent hours with my mother learning and training to be a respectable young man, and as a child my ideal was to be a king like my father, and to rule like he did. I prayed that God would let me be like him. I knew that it was somewhat possible, because my dad promised my mom that one day I would be king.

I think God had favor on me, because one day Nathan, a prophet, came and told me that God had said to name me Jedidiah, which means loved by the Lord. I felt loved, at least by my mom and dad. I knew that I had a great task set before me and I diligently studied and worked to get to the place where I felt I could be worthy of such a thing. I prayed earnestly that I would be able to serve the country and all the people the way a good king should – the way my father did.

One day my chance came. It was actually a very uncertain day. The time arrived when my father was aged and didn’t have much time left on earth, when one of my step-brothers, Adonijah, went and crowned himself king. My mom was amazing, she marched right in to tell my father what was happening, who immediately anointed me to be king after him. I can’t even begin to describe the exhilarating but nerve racking feeling that came as I realized that the thing I had prayed for all my life was now taking place.

The people were very supportive of my becoming king, especially since my father had been the one to anoint me as king because the people loved anything my father did or said. In their eyes that meant that I must be the right choice. Adonijah tried to stir up trouble, he was very bitter that he had not been the one anointed as king. Fortunately, I had the people’s favor behind me, so it all worked out in the end.

As my father passed away, he said something to me that meant so much to me that I wrote it down. This is what he said: "So be strong, show yourself a man, and observe what the Lord your God requires: Walk in his ways, and keep his decrees and commands, his laws and requirements, as written in the law of Moses, so that you may prosper in all you do and wherever you go, and that the Lord may keep his promise to me: ‘If your descendants watch how they live, and if they walk faithfully before me with all their heart and soul, you will never fail to have a man on the throne of Israel.’" I Kings 2:2-4 He went on to give me more instructions, which I carried out because I knew my father was so wise. When he gave me these instructions, there was nothing that I wanted more then to do what he said. I couldn’t think of any way I would rather live then to be strong and follow after God and keep his commands, and to be a great king.

In fact, it took me no time to meet the Pharaoh king of Egypt where I met his beautiful daughter. I have to say that women have always had a strong sway over me, and when I met her, not only was the thought of alleging our countries a comforting thing, but she was all that I ever wanted in a girl. At least that’s what I thought at the time. So we were married.

We were happy. Our countries were at peace, the people, as could be expected, had their problems, but there was no war or anything seriously threatening. Of course, as a new king even these "little problems" seemed like so much to me. I must admit that many of the problems that came along were very intimidating to me. Once in a while I wondered what on earth I was doing as king, and wished I could have my father back just for a day just to ask him what he would do if he were me in that situation. But he wasn’t there, so I prayed to God and asked him to help me. I wanted God to see how much I loved him, so I faithfully did all that I knew my father had done to follow after God. After all, he was known as a man after God’s own heart – yes, I know that I’ve said that before, it just means a lot to me. So I began to build my palace and a temple for the Lord. My father had already purchased all the supplies for me, so all I had to do was gather the workers together and get started. It was during this time that I had a dream. In my dream God came and told me to ask for anything I wanted and he would give it to me. I said "You have shown great kindness to your servant, my father David, because he was faithful to you and righteous and upright in heart. You have continued this great kindness to him and have given him a son to sit on his throne this very day. Now, o Lord my God, you have made your servant king in place of my father David. But I am only a little child and do not know how to carry out my duties. Your servant is here among the people you have chosen, a great people, too numerous to count or number. So give your servant a discerning heart to govern your people and to distinguish between right and wrong. For who is able to govern this great people of yours?" I Kings 3:6-9 I was surprised at how pleased God was with my reply, in fact, this is what he said: "Since you have asked for this and not for long life or wealth for yourself, nor have asked for the death of your enemies but for discernment in administering justice, I will do what you have asked. I will give you a wise and discerning heart, so that there will never have been anyone like you, nor will there ever be. Moreover, I will give you what you have not asked for – both riches and honor – so that in your lifetime you will have no equal among kings. And if you walk in my ways and obey my statutes and commands as David you father did, I will give you a long life." I Kings 3:11-14 It seemed so real that when I woke up I was shocked to realize that had only been a dream. As I’m sure if you haven’t already heard of me, you will realize that by the time I’m done telling you about my life, that even though that had "only been a dream", it all came true.

Anyways, it took no time before what God had promised me in my dream began to show. As problems cropped up, I knew how to deal with them. It was so amazing how God just took me, a new, uncertain king, inexperienced as I was, and made me begin to have a wisdom that people from all over began to recognize. In fact, it was almost unbelievable what God was doing in me, because I began to have a earnest desire to learn more like never before. I studied everything, from plants to people to seas to nations. I knew so much that people traveled from far away places to come and hear what I had to say. I began to spend more and more time studying and teaching and meeting with kings and important people from all over.

It took years before my palace and the Lord’s temple got finished. I had been so busy, that I hadn’t been spending much time with my wife. I have to admit that with the lack of time spent with her, sometimes I thought of other women. In hopes to change that, I made her own special palace.

I was so pleased to have finally finished building the Lord’s temple. It was a desire my father had had, but I was the one who was privileged to be able to fulfill it. I dedicated everything to God, and prayed that He would have his way in this temple. I know God heard my prayer. After that time I faithfully fulfilled the temple obligations of going to burn incense before the Lord three times a year.

After spending 20 years building and working, I have to admit that not having that goal before me kind of threw me for a loop. As a child I’d always had the desire to be king, then it was to build a palace and temple for the Lord. But now I wasn’t sure what I wanted.

The Queen of Sheba came at the perfect time to fulfill that need. She came to see if all the reports she’d heard about me were true. We had a wonderful time talking about almost anything you can imagine, and I was so proud to show off all that I had built up in my kingdom. I decided that I would build up more riches then could be imagined by any human. I wanted to have the most beautiful, magnificent kingdom that had ever existed.

So now I had my new goal. It wasn’t very difficult. I began to build up more and more riches. People from the whole world were awed and amazed by my kingdom. Yet, as my riches continued to grow, I realized that even though I had all this fame and fortune, I wasn’t as happy as I wanted to be. I began to indulge in things a little more then I had before – like having comedians and performers come in to amuse me and the court.

Then I was happy. I had all these riches, I had fame and fortune, and I had things to amuse me every day at the snap of my fingers. I constantly wined and dined and spent time with others. It was only when I was alone that I felt a twinge of unhappiness, or just the thought that I was missing something. So I avoided being alone.

Throughout this time, I have to admit that I didn’t remain faithful to my first wife. On the contrary, I fell in love with another lady who was young and vibrant – in the bud of her youth. And the great thing was that she was of royal blood, she was from Sidonia, actually. My father had had more then one wife, so I decided that 2 wives wouldn’t hurt. I also knew that God had told us that we should never marry people from outside of our nation, but I knew that God loved me and was doing so much through me that I would be forgiven. So I married her. It was exhilarating, but I tired of her after a while. What I once thought was vibrancy I began to think of as nonsense talk. I began to spend less time with her, but I knew the excitement that we’d had when we first met, and when I met a beautiful princess from Edom, who was so strong and silent – so opposite to what now annoyed me in my former wife, that I was incredibly attracted to her. Her dark eyes and beauty made me melt inside each time I looked at her. So I married again. Nothing bad had happened to me the first time I married outside of my nation, so I didn’t think anything would happen this time either.

Sometimes my wives would fight and bicker so much, that I decided that that was it for me, I wasn’t going to marry anymore. So I started taking in concubines – I’d look for a pretty young girl, and when I felt like it I’d have my fun with her, and then I’d forget about her.

However, I soon realized that what I really wanted was a woman who I could really talk to, someone I could trust and really build a relationship with. This is the point I had reached when I met the new "love of my life". She was the King of Moab’s prized daughter. We spent hours philosophizing. She was incredibly smart for a woman, since in my day women aren’t encouraged to think as much. I guess that’s what attracted me to her so much. We’d spend hours talking about things, and I so incredibly enjoyed having a women who could talk to me so intelligently. There was only one thing we didn’t agree on – she didn’t believe in God. However, she was such a good person, and she never tried to push any of her beliefs on me, so I did the same and didn’t try to push God on her, and we got along just fine. We married.

It wasn’t too long after we married, however, when she began to tell me of her desire to have her god to worship. She stated she felt that she wasn’t as fulfilled since coming to live with me. I wanted desperately to see her happy, and return to the great discussions we had had before, so I told her that I’d let her, and ONLY her, build a mini temple where she could worship her god. I knew God wouldn’t be very happy, but he hadn’t done anything to me yet for marrying people from outside of our nation, and everything was going so well anyways, that I wasn’t too concerned. I knew he’d forgive me.

I guess that wasn’t the best decision, however, because it wasn’t long before my other wives began to complain. Rather then constantly listen to them bicker and see their sullen faces, I let them each do what they wanted with their gods. In fact, now that I was getting older I was realizing that God may have been good for my father David, but I really didn’t need him. I knew in my wisdom, that I personally didn’t need God like my father did because I was more secure and well-rounded so I could do things on my own. In fact, I really wasn’t so sure about God anymore. I saw how some of my wives would pray to their gods, and they’d get results, while I’d seen countless people praying to God and they’d never seem to get an answer. So, the truth was that I just didn’t see how I needed God. Not that I was against him or anything, he was great for the poor people, and the women and children who needed something to believe in, but I was doing great on my own.

I won’t even begin to tell you about my next wife, or my next, or my next. The fact is, I ended up marrying 700 wives of royal birth, and had 300 concubines by the time my life was over. I had countless children, though I never got to know any of them too close. I was too busy running my kingdom, and doing things I wanted to do.

As I got older, my relationships with women changed. When I was young women had been attracted to me because I was so charming and wise, and I don’t have to lie to tell you that I had been a good looking man. However, that had passed away, and now I didn’t have any real relationships with any of the women I had married. They would do what I wanted – after all I was king, who dared not do what I asked, but the enjoyment and love and passion was gone that used to accompany my relationships. It was all empty. Meaningless, really.

In fact, as I looked back on everything, and looked at all my riches, all my wives and concubines, all the great wisdom that I had, all the great wining and dining I had done, and all the lively entertainment that I had once enjoyed (believe me – THAT wore out, I am so sick of fake comedians that I think the next one I see I will have put to death!) – all these things that I thought everyone else envied and strived for. I realized that it was all meaningless. I had no relationships. Who would remember me when I died for who I was – I’m sure people will know me for years to come because of what I did, but what of who I am? After all, who even really knew me? When was the last time I’d intimately talked and poured out to someone how I felt? When was the last time a woman really enjoyed being with me? And not only that, when I looked at my children, who I would be passing my kingdom on to, I really saw none that I wanted to take my place. What had happened to the morals and beliefs that I had been brought up on? The kids I saw and heard about were horrible now a days! They had no respect for their parents or elders – I even had some children stick their tongue out at me when I asked them to move out of the way! To ME! King Solomon! I was aghast at the behavior of those children. And the stories of the things that children are doing today, and the crime that is beginning to rise from this younger generation is horrible. The sad thing is, I don’t even know any of my children. I never have known what it’s like to play with a son or a daughter. I’ve never done it.

And all the entertainment – that only lasted for a season. In fact, I’ve decided that "there is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace." Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

In looking back, I’ve seen how those around me think I have accomplished so much, but I look at my life only with deepest regret. When I recall what my father told me on his death bed, and remember the passion for God I had had back then, I can only regret that it’s been so many years since I’ve even thought of it. When I see the sin and corruptness of the people around me, and how they, who only a few years before had been worshipping God, were now replacing Him with other gods, all I can think is how could I, with all the wisdom that God had given me, have allowed that to happen. And the fact that people thought this was life, that life was toiling and living the day hoping it goes good because that’s what life means to them. Because I allowed it in this country. They’re trying to be like me with all the women and money and entertainment and luxuries of life. I should have told them I wasn’t happy. I should have said something about the fact that I worked so hard because I was just like them – I just wanted to make life more fun. Because I got caught up in the moment and let myself forget about the only thing that really matters – God, and allowed only small corruptions in my life that led to bigger ones, that led me and so many others to fall away. That I never raised a son who would lead God’s people the way God would want, without corruptness. That in my death all I can see is maybe I have lots of money, maybe I have respect, maybe I have all that this world holds – but I’m miserable. I never built up God’s kingdom, but instead tore it down, while it was so subtle and hidden. I looked like I was doing good things – after all, I built the temple of God, I dedicated it to God, I built up palaces and kept peace for so many years, I had so much wisdom that people dared not come against me but instead held me in the highest regard. Yet it was so meaningless. Meaningless I tell you. I wasted all that time. Imagine if I had spent that on God. Do you know that my father was known as a man after God’s own heart, and I was seen as evil in God’s eyes because I didn’t follow in his statutes?

Another thought has also crossed my mind. I knew that I should store my treasures in heaven, where moth and rust don’t destroy. I didn’t. I stored my treasures here on earth, and you know that where your heart is, there will your treasure be also. It’s so true. It’s only in hind sight that vision is perfect, and now I wish so much that I had stored up treasures in heaven. Sure I may have what seems like so much here on earth, but when I get to heaven – for all eternity, I’m not going to have anything.

I know this may seem like the sad reflections of a old man. I’ve had a taste of what almost everyone is striving for. But I’m writing as a warning, as the last words from the wisest man who’s ever lived and ever will live, that this world really doesn’t hold anything that matters. It’s not worth it to strive for a better car or a better house. It’s not worth it to allow one little compromise because it doesn’t seem like it’ll hurt you. It’s meaningless. And it’s not worth it to have that relationship with that special someone when you know that they don’t believe in God. It’s not worth it. I’m speaking from experience, from a long, wasted life. I know that as I say these last words, it’s in the hopes that perhaps I can right some of the wrongs I have done by letting people think that what I had mattered. Let me say it one more time. It’s meaningless. And I will leave you with these parting words: "Now all has been heard; here is the conclusion of the matter: Fear God and keep his commandments, for God will bring every deed into judgment, including every hidden thing, whether it is good or evil." Ecclesiastes 12:13-14

I was sitting in the sewing store with all the other bolts of cloth. We happily talked about how great things were and gossiped about the other bolts of cloth around the corner. Some of the bolts of cloth were shiny, others were bright and flashy, others were patterned, some were plain… We were all happy there in the store. We were comfortable, taken care of, and we were all snuggled in close together and happily blissful in our own little world. I couldn’t think of anywhere I would rather be. This was the life.

I guess that’s not what my life was meant to be, however. I hadn’t been in the store too long, before someone came along and asked to buy me. Suddenly I was taken from the comfort of what I knew and where I belonged. I was thrust out into a world of the unknown. I shivered with cold as I was put into a plastic bag all alone, without the comfort of my friends. Then I was placed in the back seat of a car, with other groceries and shopping bags piled on top of me. I felt humiliated that I would be placed at the bottom – I should be handled with care! I was a beautiful bolt of cloth, and should be seen by everyone. People who saw me in the store thought so anyways.

By the next week, if I’d known what was to come, I would have wished that I could have stayed at the bottom of the pile forever. I thought I’d rather be alone and unnoticed then to go through what I did. No matter how hard I tried to forget my feelings, and forget about the other bolts of cloth and how lucky they were, I couldn’t. My memories and thoughts were all I had. I soon forgot that people actually wanted to see me, I couldn’t imagine anyone liking me. After all, the people who had bought me obviously didn’t like me, or they would have treated me better! They would have put me in their front door way for all to see! But they didn’t.

Instead I was thrown in a cold room with machines and old discarded cut up cloth lying all over. I was horrified! This must be a horrible nightmare! Surely they didn’t think I belonged with all these scraps of used material!

The horror of that moment will NEVER replace the treatment that was to follow, however. At unexpected moments, my owner would come in and cut me up. I thought the first cut was bad, but soon I almost felt numbed by the multiple cuts that ripped me apart. I felt humiliated. When I first came from the store I thought I should have been in a place for all to see, now I just wanted to hide where no one could see me, and most of all to escape my owner. But I couldn’t leave. After all, I was so cut up and ugly, who else would want me now? I was so ugly. I was just like all the other scraps of material in the room. I wished I could escape. I didn’t want to be cut anymore, I didn’t want to feel the pain of past memories, I didn’t want to try so hard to suppress feelings anymore.

It was at this point of my life, that I knew something had to change, or I couldn’t bear it anymore. Things started changing. It was gradual, but my owner took all my pieces of scrap material, and brought me to the machine I first saw when I entered this room of hell – it was a sewing machine. My owner started sewing me together.

It was such a gradual change, that at first I didn’t even realize it was happening. I didn’t even think that these torn up scraps could ever become something. I thought I would be ugly scraps forever. However, as I was sewn together more and more, I began to see a change. It felt so uncomfortable that I didn’t want to change. It’s ironic, how at one point I was so down and wanted so desperately to not look so torn up and ugly, and how I wanted so desperately to have a different life, yet here I was finally having a change and I hated it. I wanted to go back to where I had been before my owner started sewing me up. I didn’t understand it, but I guess it was just because change is never easy, and it made me uncomfortable. I didn’t know what to expect. At least before I knew I was ugly, and even though I never knew when, I knew that I would be cut and torn. Now I never knew what was coming next. Feelings were changing. Old feelings that I’d forgotten about were being stirred up. I was not so sure I wanted to be sewn up, but what in life had I wanted? Life never seemed to treat me fair.

As stitch after stitch was sewn, I began to see myself differently. Maybe I wasn’t so ugly after all. In fact, sometimes I saw my owner looking at me with pride. Shape was beginning to come out of me, and then my owner tried me on. I wasn’t really sure what I was yet, but I was beginning to recognize something, and something was better then scraps. I thought maybe I was going to be a dress. I began to feel better about myself.

Time went by, stitch after stitch was sewn, I still felt uncertain, but my feelings were changing. Soon I knew I was a dress, and then I realized that not only was I a dress, but I was a special dress – a wedding dress. I would serve a purpose in someone’s life. Somebody would be proud to wear me. People would look at me with awe.

Not once do I like those moments that I went through as I was cut and torn and left in a dark room all alone. Yet I have a new look at it now. You see, I wouldn’t have the beauty that I now have if it had never happened. I could use this to may advantage. Unlike the other bolts of cloth left behind, I could serve a purpose. Not that I would wish what I lived through on anyone, but I believe that I now have a beauty and use that none of them would ever have. I have shape and form, I have character, I have a use other then to sit in a store and look pretty. I’ll reach different people then they will.

©2004 Jill Forsyth November 3, 1999 For Personal and Group Use.